i hate boys!!

Just get out and never come back to my life.

I dont want to fall in love or communicate with boys.

It hurts!

Alot!

No one knows.

Abdul if you read this i and Yun have nothing.

I dont like him.

Whatever.

Yun if you get to read this.

Ignore me all you want.

I will ignore you too.

Abang Rahim if you can read this also.

I dont want to talk to you anymore.

Although you have said sorry.

I just have had enough of critisim.

I know i am a bitch who broke up with your best friend.

Hate me all you want.

I am just tired.

Tired.

I am trying hard to tell myself not to cry.

But everyday shit happens

Nothing has ever been a great day for me.

All i do is idiotly crying at night.

To people who do stuffs like this.

To me the question is am i crying for a good reason?

I dont know.

I DONT KNOW!

Sometimes i feel like killing myself.

So that i wont be too sad.

Today i watch chinese show.

I think about him

Do i love him?

If i do will i regret if i die without telling him?

I dont know.

Haiz.

I dont know what to say already.

My life is in a mess.

lala*

hate him

ok people listen.

We are over.

No more Abdul and Aqilah.

He has hurt me too many times.

I hate him.

I hate him :'(

My life cant get any worse than this.

I would rather die then carry on.

This is toturing.

I HATE ABDUL NUR!!

i dont want to think about you anymore.

You are out of my life forever.

We are never going to be together.

Dont bother waiting for me.

I dont want you anymore.

I just want to be ME,MYSELF AND I!!!!

go away.

Just get out.

I hate my life.

I so hate it.

Nobody knows how i feel.

lala*

broke up.

this post is for Abdul Nur.

I treasure the time we had together.

Those were my greatest memories that i will never forget.

You were my first true love.

I am sorry that this had to happen.

Well it is a decision i made.

It was difficult.

But this is the best.

Maybe not for you but for me.

Today is suppose to be our 1 year anniversary.

I am sorry that we did not go all the way.

I am sorry.

But to let you know that i still care for you.

I wont forget you.

And i wont forget all the nice things that you have done for me.

101405.

Sorry.

I hope you read this.

lala*

photos.

Mount Lambak and Mount Belumut trip!

Yun, me and dina at the summit of Mount Belumut.

Sakinah,me,dina,Lenny and Leong Kiat at the top of Mount Belumut.

Lenny,Sakinah,me and Dina at the top of Mount Lambak

Meina and Meilahat Mount Lambak


Meilah and Meiny at Mount Lambak.

The beautiful scenery at Mount Lambak.

Sakinah,me,Lenny and Dinaat hotel lobby.


Hari Raya photos so far!

Me,Farah,Isaac and Kak yana




Me,alya,kak nadiyah and Ryanat nyai house.

Kak yana,Kak Nadiyah, me and extra elephant at the back.

Me and Ryan

Kak Yana, Auntie Juliana and me

mount belumut trip

So long never update.

Just came back yesterday from Kluang.

I conquered 2 mountains.

That is mount lambak and mount belumut.

This is going to be a long entry so bear with me okies.

First day had to wake up early to be in school by 6.30.

Imagine the time i had to wake up.

Waited for the bus and i sat beside Yun.

Cause Sakinah had to sit with someone else.

Then reached the hotel around 11.

We unpacked.

Went for lunch at 12.

Then we head to Mount Lambak.

Climbed there.

Everyone made it.

We got back to the hotel around 6.

Wash up then went for dinner at around 7.

Then had our group reflection and overall reflection.

That was great.

Oh ya.

The people who stick to me.

I mean as a group.

They are Sakinah,Fardina,Lenny,Suba,Vivien,Yun and of course me.

They were great fun.

During the hike,either Leong or Yun will help me.

So the day had passed.

The second day had wake up call at 6.

Went down for breakfast at 7.

Took the bus to Mount Belumut at around 8.30.

Then went up the mount belumut.

Mount Belumut i would not want to got again.

I got bitten by leeches.

Two of them.

One on each leg.

Now the legs have scars of it.

I am the first to notice that there is a leech.

So ass.

Hate leeches.

Curse them.

They like me maybe cause i am sweet.

Those bloodsuckers.

Went up with my group.

A guy called Ian helped me and so did Siew Ming.

Then halfway going up, Dina,Lenny and Yun ended up with me.

Lenny was independent.

Dina and me helped each other.

Yun had to help Suba.

Then we make fun of them.

Muahaha.

The trip down.

Same people.

Then Leong made new mei.

Lenny and Fardina.

So now we have a new group.

Meiny+Meina+Meilah+Korkiat.

Forever and ever.

Love them loads.

Ok all except Desmond and Mr Seah conqured the mountain.

We reached the peak at around 6.30.

We all went back to the hotel then straight for dinner.

Then we all washed up and did our normal reflection.

Then we all got free time.

But i went to sleep.

Cause no mood.

The leech fault lah.

Then i and Sakinah went to bed.

Next day morning call at 8.

Went down for breakfast.

Then we had a last meeting.

We all had alot of people to praise.

Then chocolates were given out.

Then went back to the room to pack.

Then we checked out at 12.

We left Kluang for Johor.

I slept in the bus then something funny happened.

I was shocked and awaken.

Yun was shocked when i moved.

I had a bad dream.

About him

Well dont want to talk about it.

Lucky Yun was there.

We went shopping at Angsana.

The same old people was with me.

Then reached home at 7.

My darling sis fetch me.

So sweet.

Ok lah.

That is about the whole trip.

I quarrel with him.

Somehow or rather it is difficult to forgive him now.

I am so tired.

Very.

It is just that i know he will do the same thing over and over again.

Why must i make myself miserable.

Why?

I just feel like being alone and free.

No problems.

I dont know already.

I am tired of typing.

So till next time.

Toodles.

lala [meilah] *

selamat hari raya.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI MAAF ZAHIR BATIN!!!

to all the muslims out there.

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!!

to all the hidus out there (:

So ok today is the first day of hari raya.

My whole family is wearing black.

I slept at 3 this morning and woke up at 9 this morning.

Totally exhausted.

Gosh!

Tomorrow i got to go school for training.

Damn it.

Now waiting for people to come.

Dont know what time i going to sleep also.

Die!

Ok lah.

Got to go.

Guest are arriving.

Take care everyone.

Toodles.

lala*

happy halloween

Today is halloween.

I became a genie thanks to my modern dance costume.

Collected lots of sweets together with amy and tasha as well.

Alot of nice costumes around.

Maybe next year i will be princess or miss universe.

hehe (:

Tomorrow i going out with abdul so now i must clean the house.

Toddles.

Take care everyone.

And to the hindus.

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!!!

lala *

results.

my report book is back.

guess what.

i got 8th in class and in the whole normal acad.

woohoo!

lets party man.

i am like so freaking happy about my results.

top 10.

hmm ok enough about that.

i am quarreling with him.

dont know lah he.

he just cant understand me.

i am like so freaking sad.

haiz.

i dont know how long this will go on.

ok lah

gtg

will update more next time.

toodles.

lala*

sobx.

He was here.

From 7.30 to 9.30

but it felt like 5 mins.

my asshole brother made my dad come back tomorrow.

so shit.

not that i hate him.

i cant spent time with abdul.

haiz.

life is so unpredictable.

today get scolding from my mummy till like shit.

i am just trying to make cookies.

is that wrong.

everyone dont want to do it.

and one mistake and i will get one hell of a scolding.

tomorrow have IT course and training.

so stress.

i want to get school over and done with.

tomorrow also might get report book.

i am going to the school dinner anyway.

so bored.

and the house is damn messy.

so shit.

got to go.

toddles.

lala*

update

so hari raya is coming.

not very excited this year.

again.

this year is like so fast hari raya already.

so boring.

today just started to make cookies.

make cornflakes and chocolate chip.

then will be making two type of chocolate thingy.

then another round of chocolate chip.

then it is done.

the rest will be buying at malaysia.

tomorrow i will go school.

today i never.

tomorrow i got course.

and then got training.

so tiring.

wednesday go school for i also dont know.

then after school go malaysia take the hari raya clothes.

thursaday go school.

after school got course.

i will go out with abdul either thursday or friday.

someone seriously have a big problem with me.

dont want to name that person.

but that person despise me alot.

have i changed?

this is a question to everyone and that particular person.

if have anything to say tell me.

if not just dont say anyhow.

this is crap man.

frustrated?

yes i am very.

got to go clean up the damn house.

if not my sis say i will not do anything.

i very lazy.

blah, blah, blah.

toddles everyone.

lala *

english results.

I am so sad.

Just when all my results are passing,

i had to fail my damn english.

not really overall.

paper 2.

but this is so sad.

Haiz.

I am sick again.

I haven recover.

So i am not in school yet.

I miss my friends alot.

I want to go to school tomorrow.

lala*

results!

Ok i am sick.

Very sick.

Cannot sleep the whole of last night.

Just thinking about him is making it worse.

He hardly sleep a wink last night.

You dont want to know the reason why.

I am just so worried about him.

I am not angry with him.

I dont want to for no reason.

Haiz.

I dont know what to say.

:(

Today i did not go school.

But my darling friends tell me my marks.

It is as followed.

Principal of accounts - 75/100

Geography - 36/50

Social Studies - 25/50

Malay - 78/100

Physics - 32.5/50

Chemistry - 39.5/50

Maths - 50/100

English - unknown.

You can say i did well.

But i dont think i did.

I just pass my maths and social studies.

Haiz.

Well for the rest maybe i am getting the hang of it.

Just waiting for my english results.

Tired now.

Want to rest.

Toodles.

lala *

happy 8th birthday.

God has blessed us with a boy named Isaac Oreth.

Born on the 8th October 1997.

Today he celebrates his 8th birthday.

Well from a sister to this brother.

I just want to wish you all the best in life.

And i will always love you although you are an irritating pest.

Muacks!

11th month anniversary/

this is so called my saddest day.

11th month anniversary.

and i am not with him.

haiz.

he said that if he blames me also what is the use.

so i guess i am to be blamed.

i am the girl that everyone hates.

my chest hurts.

i am sick.

no one hears my sorrow.

i am sorry.

that is all i can say.

i know it is always my fault.

what you said made me cry and has hurt me deeply.

but i know it is my fault.

sorry.

now i am stupidly thinking of stupid things.

this is so shit.

shit.

i just want to cry.

tralalala

Ok exams are finally O-V-E-R!!!

So glad that it is over.

Been stressed until cannot stress already.

Today the final paper was Principal Of Accounts.

Ok how was it? It was quite ok.

Not very easy paper.

Abdul is sick

I am sorry.

I have been a jerk lately.

Causing my examinations period to affect you.

Am sorry that i could not visit you today.

I feel so bad.

Sorry.

Well take care.

I love you alot.

I dont like to see you sick.

Today is going to be the 8th day of the fasting month.

Many things happen.

Mastura: Dont be too sad girl. Your guy will get well. God will always be with him Cheer up (:

Abdul: Please take care. I love you alot.

Ok to the rest. Just take care.

Be dengue free.

Muacks.

Toodles.

Enjoy the bulan ramadhan to all the muslims.

lala *

End of year exams.

Ok so fasting month is here. Good news. Then my exams are almost over. Two more days till all my misery is done. Have not been myself lately cause of the pressure i am in. Tomorrow is physics. My worst nightmare. Today was maths and i nearly cried. Cause i did not know alot of things and i did alot of stupid mistakes. This is so depressing. I just hope that i dont do so bad. I cant afford to. My dad has so much confidence in me. I dont want to let him and my mummy down again after my common test.

Ok so fasting month. Today is the 6th day already. I have like about 24 more days to go till hari raya. Woohoo... But i miss Abdul alot. Cause we cant touch each other during fasting month. It is a sin. Dont really know why it is a sin. But i will just follow it for now and find the answer another time. I am damn tired now. But i have to go study for my physics. Toodles everyone. Wish me all the best and may god bless me for tomorrow.



lala *

back

Well ok been a very long time since i update. Well life has been stressful due to examinations. Today is the first day of the major paper. Geography and social studies one day. Head now going haywire. Here is my exam schedule:

30th November - English and Malay paper 1.
5th October - Geography and Social Studies.
6th October - English and Malay paper 2.
7th October - Science(Chemistry) .
10th October - Mathematics paper 1 & 2 .
11th October - Science(Physics) .
12th October - Principle of Accounts 1 & 2 .

Well this is going to be crazy. I want to pass all. ALL!!!! I dont want to do badly. I am so stressed up. I have a headache and my stupid bro is like crying cause never go library. So shit. Haiz.I miss him alot. Alot that i want to hug and kiss him and lala with him. I miss him :'(

Anyway got to go now. Have to study for my chem and physics. Bye everyone.


lala *

Sobx \

I dont know what i am thinking anymore. I dont want to think anymore about unwanted stuffs. I cant take anymore. My studies. I am trying my so very best. That it hurts me you can say.

So the other things i am refering to well is my other social things. Cant really detailed it cause i got no strength. All my strength is gone. I am so weak that i can barely do anything. I am feeling sad. But i dont know why. So sad. My stomach has been weak lately. So i barely eat. Eat abit here and there. Ok. I dont want to write no more. I am too sad. Quarrel with him.


My exams are just around the corner. May god bless me. May it help me with my studies. But i must help myself. Well really trying real hard. I want to pass. Now i dont have confidence. So stressed and i haven even wash the dishes. Shit lah.


lala *

SentoSa!

Tralalala. hehe. Back from SentoSa. I slept overnight there at Shangri-La's Rasa SentoSa ResoRt. Whee. Hotel. A Singaporean staying in Singapore hotel. Haha. What to do? Malaysia now corrupted like hell. People killing here and there. Robbing here and there. Rapping here and there. The place is a nightmare. Now want to go also must wear like apek and nonya. Ok stop here. I want to talk about SentoSa tRip.

Well we checked in around 2 noon. With the help ok Kak Shirin driving the car over. If not i think we will reach later. Haha. Well went to put the things all. Then went to eat at Burger King. Then went back to the hotel rest. Then went to Fort SiloSo. Then went to the SiloSo beach. Then went Swimming. Then went back to the hotel change. Then went to Musical Fountain. Then went to the hotel cafe to eat dinner. Then went back to sleep.That was for yesterday.

Today woke up at 8. Went for complimentary breakfast at the hotel cafe. Then we straight away went to the arcade. Haha. Played there awhile. Then to the pool table. Where i played pool for the first time against my sis and i won. Whee! Luck i guess. haha. Then from there we went to back to the room to freshen up. We checked out around 11.30. Went out of Sentosa then went to Suntec City do shopping abit. Then back to home sweet home. Tired. Went to clean all that. Now i am blogging.

Got to go sleep for tomorrow. Goodnight everyone.


butterfly kisses *
Lala

-Many happy happenings.

Well first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KENZI ONG and my classmate JANICE LIM. One has turn 13 and the other 15. Well wish them all the best only. Take care.

Then today is my ten month anniversary. Happy 10th month anniversary baby. I love you loads. Muacks! I am glad that we are still together. And i want to be with you forever and ever. I want to marry you and i want to have your kids. I cant wait for my 1 year anniversary. I am sorry i cant spent time with you. I am really sorry. I feel so bad. But i just want you to know that i love you alot. I can only spent more time with you after the end of year exams. That is when i wont have to worry on alot of things. I am sorry that i caused you alot of sadness and misery to your life.. Just sorry. Well i dont know what to say anymore. I got to go.

I love my family. Alot. All of them has sacrificed for me. They even shed tears for me. I am truely grateful. Thank you.

I got to go. Till next time i blog. Goodbye. Take care.


butterfly kisses *
Aqilah Oreth

....

The world is upside down now. Does anyone feel the same thing that i am feeling? The feeling of pain and just pure shit.

Ever heard of a younger brother calling you an idiot? Well mine does. My brother at the age of 8 whom controls my mum, sis and me. Seriously the world is upside down already. He is always asking for the damn toys. Which some he plays while and throw it away once he get bored of it. People says he is a young boy. Just eight. Well this stupid boy must be damn bloody stupid to me. He is not young to me. He surely have common sense. Unless he is so stupid. Have a pea brain. Then i accept. Maybe he is? Well what the fcuk. He is an ass to me. Someone whom i hate alot. Someone who does not need my respect. Someone rude.

Today i went to Malaysia. Went to do my baju raya. Abit too early huh? But better be early then late. Since we got the materials already. Went to look for the tailor was difficult. They shifted. And the weather was like freaking hot. Then we saw the place. But went to eat first at City. The we are me,mummy,sis and Sandral. So glad my brother was not there. Ok come back. After eating, went to look for the tailor. Found it at a small shopping mall. Did the measurement and stuffs. Then went off back to City Square. There went shopping. It was fun. Sandral bought a roxy wallet,skirt and shorts. Mummy bought pants. Sis bought skirt and i got myself a long pants. We were shopping like mad. Spent alot of money also. But it was quite cheap. I think Sandral was happy. So were we.

Then we went home. Took the bus. Sandral came to my house. Mummy went to work. Then Abdul came. That is when my brother made trouble. He called me an idiot. That was why i got angry. I called my mum. Told him he was at my house. Then she gave me 10 mins. Tell me what can you do with your boyfriend for 10 damn minutes. Practically nothing.

He went home. I knew he was sad. From the look of his face. I just feel so damn freaking bad. I am the meanest girl in the world. Each time i have to tell him to leave. He came all the way. Then he go home. He was so freaking sad. Now i dont know what to do no more. I miss him alot. And it is alot. We dont spend time together. We never go out also. Haiz. No one knows what i am feeling inside.

That is all i did today. I will be loving him always. Muacks.I love you Abdul!!

pRinceSs lala :'(

Life for me this days?

Well trying to be happy. But everyday just turns out to be a i dont know how to describe. this is just so fraustrating. I am so sad.

Today i am quite tired you can say. Woke up at 5.45 to go to school. Had belumut training from 7.30-8.30. Ran 5 rounds the death track[the track outside CHR where we use to run now]. Then finished i went to Banquet. With amelea and tasha. We ate. Then my baby come and fetch me go school. Then i actually lost my hp. I left it at Banquet. A kind man helped me to keep. Then my baby called the man. Then we went to take the hp. The man actually went to call my daddy. Who is at Batam. Gosh. There goes my prepaid. Then modern dance was for 2 long hours. With Adam. Pain. Then Miss Tan treat us KFC. So nice. Then i went home. Planned to sleep. But then i went swimming instead. Then met up with Abdul. Talk to him awhile. Then i have to pick up my stupid irritaing no respect for elders brother. This is just so fraustrating. I had to wait fo rthe bus for half an hour. Stupid bus. Moron. Then go there see my asshole bro buy toys. Then left. What a waste of time. So shit. Now here blogging away.


People do love me. People like Abdul, Nasriah and Amelea and Tasha. I so love them. Thanks. Alot of thanks. And to my other friend. Just thank you alot.


I dont know what is happening in my life. Just have to figure out i guess. Well i am so tired right now.


I am sorry baby. I have been creating problems for you one after another.One after another. Making you sad everyday. Haiz. I am stupid. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.


pRinceSs Lala :'(

SorRy

I am sorry. I am sorry. I dont know what to do anymore. You are not useless. Dont say like that. You are not useless. I love you alot. I was stupid to say that. Sorry. Sorry :'( Sorry. Sorry. I am sorry. Sorry. You are not the useless one. I am.Sorry. sorry :'(


Sorry. Sorry :'(



I love you alot2. I love you.Really :'(

A little of disappointment and alot of sadness

Sometimes i just feel like giving up. I did not do well for my exams. It is atrocious. The results i get shows the me. The real me is a fucking girl with a low IQ. I wanted to give up. My friends told me not to. So i wont. I fail three subjects. This whole year i never failed. This is to sad. I wont give up though.

I failed my Social Studies,Physics and POA. This is too much for me to handle. I may look happy. But sometimes i feel like breaking down to cry all the way. People have given me advices. I am thankful. Thanks. But this does not change anything. I am still so sad. Iwant to die. I feel like slitting my wrist. With a blade. This is so shit. I am shit. Everyone hates me. I just want to kill myself. Maybe a slow death is great.

I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die.I want to kill myself. I want to die. I want to kill myself. I dont want to live anymore. I am so stress. Argh!!!!


Aqilah Oreth

Is it a good or bad day?

Well firstly i would like to wish this people Happy Birthday. My darling sister. Happy 16th birthday. My friend Emilyza. Happy 14th birthday chicken. Hehe. Well two happy people turning older. Wonder when it is going to be my turn. I just hope i dont change too much though. Haiz. Ok well today had a small party for my sis. Sandral,Hui Shan and Abang Nazlie came. Ate cake and ate a few finger food. Then they went home. That is all.

Today get results. It is as follow. Physics:10/25.Chemistry:18/25.English:18/30.Maths:16/30.Geography:17/25.
That is what i get. Bad grades. Dont know what to say already.

Today is like pure shit. I slept like late night. Not late. Just woke up like a billion times. Wanted to talk to him but cannot. Then today i like went to look for him at the soccer court. he made me stand there like an idiot and say that later he will meet me. But what the hell can we talk about for 5 mins. Shit. This is all shit. I am just an idiot. An ass. I just hate him for doing that to me. Like countless time. The same thing. I just hate my life. Why do i have to go through this. This just sucks.


I dont know what to do anymore. My right side of near the stomach hurts. Like shit. Just feel like dying. No one knows. Only me. My mummy know then she say how? That was all. I feel like crying. I feel so lonely. I feel so sad. I got to go already.


Goodbye and so long. Till next time.



love,
Aqilah Oreth

My day!

Well i bought a new bikini! Yeahs! Yesterday went to Sentosa. For picnic and to just enjoy at the beach. It was ok. My sister bought a new Roxy shorts for her birthday. Then today i bought for her a barney ballon . And she also got money from my grandma. She is happy. Good enough.Well this is a short entry . Tomorrow i might update more. Till then goodbye!



love,
pRinceSs Lala

-Common test

Well tomorrow is my chemistry paper. Then my POA. Then it is over. The nightmare is over. I had a really difficult day today. Maths and physics. Gosh it was terrible. But i think i did my best. I am so damn tired. I feel like there is alot of load over my shoulder. It is a terrible feeling. It is not nice.


I have been having people to help me. Thank god to these people. Cant really name them. Haha. Private and confidential. Haha. Well just thanks alot. I am back with pelyn. Yeah we are back guys. Watch out for our madness. Haha. Thanks to darling Kenzi we are ok. Thanks. Thanks to my friends that is all lah. Haha. Everybody. And my family. Ya the most important person.


Next week i am going to perform. Yeahs! for teacher's day. Cannot wait. Haha. Well CHR people this is going to be a real treat for you guys. Teacher's day is going to be great. So better come. Haha. I am going to do my best for you. And ya. My darling sis birthday is next week. So fast she turn sweet sixteen and i am still fourteen. Got to wait till december. So long.


Ok i got to go study Chemistry. Wish me all the best. Love you all. Muacks!



love,
Aqilah Oreth

I...am sorry!

I am sorry. I dont want to quarrel with you no more. I got a splitting headache now. Sorry darling. Sorry. Sorry. I dont know what to say already. I dont know whether it is my fault or not. I dont know. I dont know. I am sad. I am sorry. I am stressed.

Tomorrow is my maths and physics test. I am so scared. I am terrified. I am scared. I want to do well. I have faith in my geography. I can pass. Now i need god's blessing. Oh man!

I am so shit. So so shit. Sobx :'(

I lovee euu!!

I AM SORRY PELYN!! THANKS KENZI!! THANKS TASHA!!

THANKS AMY!! THANKS EVERYONE!! I LOVE ALL OF

YOU!! MUACKS!!

- FuCk you Bitch

This is dedicated to a bitch. Who think that she is always right. Well you shit. You have made me fucking sad. It is all you. You are the one acting pityful shit. Ass. I hate euu! You made me say this. Natasha also you angry and she even had to say sorry. You where big you ass! Well sorry i am no pushover. I have to fight for my right. You never treasure friends. Want to angry then angry just like that. WAKE UP TO REALITY LAH. You are like in a dreamland. Which you think everything will go in your way. Well i have never known a girl as horrible as you. Pathetic ass. You can hate me for all i care. I am not in the wrong. You only know how to talk. Want to ignore me fine! Tell me the reason you fucking bitch. Come and talk to me lah. Not tag in blog useless. Hopeless.

-Fcuked up days!

Since yesterday things have never been right for me. Haiz. People hates me. For things i never did. Since yesterday. They never even find out the truth. Then angry with me for nothing. Yesterday was Pelyn. She said that i side with Joyce and dont know what shit. I dont know what is going on actually. Well for everybody's information i dont side with no one! I just love everybody from Modern Dance. I dont want anyone to quit. Somehow or rather i feel hurt when people quit! Seriously! God no one understands me! Then yesterday had dance and everything. I was dead tired after that. But went home did alot of chores all by myself! I am not complaining about the chores. I dont mind doind it alone. I want to help my sister. So she will be stress free and just concentrate on her Prelims. That is all i want for now. Then i slept late yesterday ya. Taught my sis maths. Iron a few clothes. Fold a few clothes. Then went to bed. Wierd is that i lost my voice while teaching. Gosh i dont know how i managed that.


Today i went to school as normal. But then one person i want to salam her say i talk bad things about her. What the Fcuk! What i do wrong. For everyone information again i dont talk bad about people. Even if i am advising people. I hate to hear people say things about me. And for your information Nurul, whoever the bloody hell go and tell you i talk bad about you ask the asshole to come talk to me and tell me what i say. Gosh. No facts then say anyhow. Please lah people. Find facts before blaming other people. The other people have feelings too. Not only you. And another thing Nurul, Amelea did not say that you were the one who tagged her board. She only suspects you. That is all ok. Gosh. And my baby is so i dont know what to say. He has no self confidence in himself. Haiz. Today another day is gone. Sooner or later i will be taking my N' level. I am now feeling 'shit'. You know S-H-I-T. I feel like vomiting and i have not done my housework. Got to go. I need to help my sis and also i need to study.


I need help from God. For me to survive!


love,
Aqilah Oreth :'(

-Whees!

Well yesterday i bought a pRinceSs fossil watch. Hehe. My daddy and mummy bought it for me. Thanks mummy and daddy. Love you loads! Well my sis bought a new bag and a pencil box. Oh ya and i bought this pink butterfly shirt. It is super nice. My bro bought a new Batman watch. My daddy bought a new Timberland wallet. My mummy bought new shoes. Everyone got something yesterday. So we were all happy. Hehe. I so love my Fossil watch. I will try to post the pic on the blog.

Today is my 9th month anniversary. Well long time with him. The longest guy i have ever been with and i love him alot! Thanks baby for always being there with me. So cannot live with out you. Muacks! Ok lah got to go. My daddy will scold.Will update more next time.


Love everyone!


love,
Aqilah Oreth

-lalala

Well today i am at home. Due to the sickness i got. Temperature went up to 38 degrees yesterday but today it went down. So glad. Later have teacher's day rehersal therefore i got to go to school. I think i got sick due to overworking. Well now when i go home i need to eat. Then rest awhile. Followed by doing my homework and studying. Then check on Isaac's homework. Then i must make all of them eat. Then i will pack my bag. Followed by washing the dishes and cleaning the house. Then i have to iron my school clothes and then i can rest. On Wednesday i had to change room. Therefore there was more work. Then the next day i felt like shit. Body hurts alot. That was yesterday. Yups. Then my body went all hot. Well that is all lah.


The three days holidays this is what i did:

Monday: Went out with Abdul, Abang Nazlie and Kak Liyana and me! We went to watch Charlie and the chocolate factory. Then we went to meet my mother for dinner. Then went to Esplanade awhile. Then i went home with him. It was around 10+ . I reached home around 11+ . Then i was sad. Something happen. Sis fought with mummy. Both of us was in the wrong. Therefore i said sorry.I was forgiven.

Tuesday: Sis fought with Mummy. Therefore i tried to help. I told my mum not to be angry with my sis anymore. Then my mummy say that she will forgive her if she say sorry. Then i slept for awhile. Cause i had a stomach cramp. Cause of my menses. Pain like shit. Then i was called a bitch by my sis and saying i never help her. I dont know lah. Then i went out with my uncle and auntie. We went to Esplanade to look at the fireworks. We had fun. Giggling. Then went to eat at Sembawang Shopping Centre. Then we went home. Oh ya. HAPPY BELATED 40th BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!


Wednesday: Did alot of housework. Stayed at home the whole day to study. Then Abdul came. To study with my sis. Yups i think that is about what i did.



Well next two weeks is my common test. I got to start studying. At least a subject. Stress. But i want to so well. So ya i will sacrifice. Well i got to go to the doctor. Till next time i blog.


GoOdbYe!



Love,
pRinceSs Lala

- BaD dAy

I fought with my bro. Well more details can ask me. Life is abit difficult now. No maid. We have to try to do everything ourselves. It is abit difficult. But i am glad that i am enjoying doing the housework. Weird huh? I have been ironing the school uniform everyday as well as washing the dishes. My room though is in a mess. Need a makeover. I might do something about it during the holidays.

Common test is like so near. And i am not really ready. Everyday going home and feeling so tired. I got to buck up. I need to start studying already. Well we got in the teacher's day dance and we have rehersal nearly every week. Except for during the common test week. Tiring though. Well got to bear with it.


And oh ya. I am quarreling with him. Small reason. But i need time to get over it. So that's all.



GoOdbYe!

love,
pRinceSs Lala

- Post

Well Tuesday i updated. Nothing much happen on Wednesday and Thursday. Just that i always went home late so my mummy scold. Yups. Got the scolding. Then on Friday was the audition. I kinda shout at my friends. Cause i was the assistant coodinator and the dance was not perfect. Ya. So this particular person that is Nisa i shouted at her more. So she did not really like it. Neither do me. I dont like to shout at people. I will try my best not to. So ya. Sorry to Amy,Tasha, Nina, Iena,Nurul and definitely Nisa. Sorry i shouted. But whatever it is i am glad that the dance is over. And the results is that we got in!!!! Haha. I am glad.Thanks for tolerating with me and i know you are the bestest friend i have ever had. I would always feel lonely if it was not for you guys. Nina thanks for being my patner. It was great. I so love how we do things together. I love last year. Me being pampered by you. Haha. It was great. To the rest i am just glad that you are my peeps. I am so happy that i have you guys. I love you guys! Muacks!



So ya. Saturday and Sunday with my parents. But i fought with my mummy.. I am sorry Mummy. I cant live without you. You are my strongest asset. I love you alot2. I am really sorry. I know i never tell you in person. That is because i am scared. You can say i am a coward. Well i just love you okies. Then today i went back with him. So the damn happy. He loves me. He really2 loves me. Ok I am tired already. Will update more next time. And it will be longer.


GoOdByE.


Lots of love,
pRincesS Lala

Update!

Well long time did not update. I am glad people are reading my post. Ok. On last Friday i watch a performance. Saint Andrews Junior Collage. It was super uber nice. I was amazed how the performance will look nice if we danced together. Haha. Well it was at Kallang Theater. That was when i did my SYF. I wonder how we looked on stage that time. I think we were not together. Gosh. Forget about it. We got Bronze and i am happy enough. Stop about Friday.Oh ya i love this crazy people Kenzi, Pelyn, Diyanah, Sulaztry, Natasha, Joan, Jolene, Jazli, Kristine, Joyce,Samantha Natasha, Meow Keng, Yvonne. Haha. I practically love the whole modern dance cause i named all those who were there. Haha. It was a crazy day.


On Saturday and Sunday well just do the normal things with my parents. On Sunday i went to the gym and swimming. So damn tired. Then at night my sis fought with Abang Nazlie. She was so sad. Then i felt her sadness again. It has happen the second time. What to do i am her sister. Then i put her to sleep make sure that she sleeps first. Then i tried to sleep i could not. It was cause my chest hurt. I rub it so hard till the next day it was swollen.


Yesterday was the most painful day. I had PE. It was fun. Ok. But someone scratch me. Now my hand got mark. Then after that i had Modern Dance. It was damn tiring. We stretched till we cannot stretch. We have to do split for the end of this year. So to the modern dance people. MODERN DANCE PEOPLE DONT GIVE UP. DONT QUIT CAUSE IT IS DIFFICULT. AFTER YOU HAVE DONE THE SPLIT IT WILL GET BETTER. IT IS THE BEST FOR US. SO TAKE CARE AND JIA YOU!!! CAUSE WE ARE THE BEST!! LOVE YOU GUYS. Ok. Enough about modern dance. Then i had outside dance. Sorry guys i was late. Well i finished late. At 8.30. Then i reached home at 9. My mummy was angry with me. So was my dad. Haiz there is alot more for me to write well forget it. Dont want to write no more. Then i went home did my homework and went to sleep. Oh ya, before i did all that i bath. Cause i reek of my smelly sweat.



Today i went to school late. Cause my car tire was punctured. Damn it. I had to borrow my other neighbour's cars. Ya so went to school as normal. Finished then went home. Then called my dad to explain my dance. He let me go. Provided i finsh early that is all.Today i finshed late again. I finished at 7:12 Theyhad to try to finish the dance. So now i am sitting here. Just feeling shit. I have to go and do my homework now. So goodbye for now.



Aqilah Oreth

Yesterday night.

Yesterday night i felt so lost. I felt that i did not know myself. I was watching tv till 10. Then my mum came home. Did not expect her to come back so early man. Well then i went to greet her then i went to my room. I had not finished my homework. I had to finish it that night. So i cried. Then i could not even call him at night. Cause my stupid brother said that i 'always' call him and he 'always' come here. But it is not true. I have not seen him like for nearly 1 week. I have not called him. Maybe for 5 minutes yes. So my mum believed him and brought the telephone in. She dont trust me no more. I was heartbroken. No one could feel what i was feeling. I cried almost the whole night. No one knew. I messaged him. There was a few vulgarities. I was angry with my brother then. I was so stressed. I am so stressed. I dont know what to do anymore. I have been sleeping late this few days. I have been crying in my sleep. I may look happy in school but behind the smile, my heart was not really mended. Haiz. Now he calls me but i reject him cause he did not reply my messages yesterday. I dont know what to do anymore.


Amelea and all the 3/8 girls are going to Karimun tomorrow. I am so going to be lonely. Haiz. I am so sad now. I dont know what to say already. But all the 3/8 students. Good luck there. Take care. I cant wait to see you guys next monday. I wont forget you and i hope you wont forget me.


That's all for now. Bye.


Aqilah Oreth :'(

- Today

Today was such a long and stressful day. Haiz. I dont know what the hell i am doing also. Haiz.


I dont want to make it long ar. Dont want to go into details. Whatever it is i am so tired like shit. I hurt both my knee. It hurts really bad and i need to finish my homework now!!!


So goodbye and sorry it is a short entry.



Aqilah Oreth

- dots

Well yesterday was so.. I dont know how to describe. Went to alot of places ya. To shop and eat and walk around. Reached home around 9. Then something sad happen. Dont want to go into details but a short summary is that my sis got a scolding from my dad cause of my irritating brother. Damn him. When my sis got the scolding i felt the cold stab that she was feeling. I knew she was hurt. I cried. I dont know why. But i just cried. I could not bear to see my sis get scolding and there was alot of stuffs that made her cry even more. Haiz. But whatever it is i told my sis not to give up. She can do it. She can prove to my dad that she can study. I will help her when she needs me.


Well today i went out. My malay grandma came over. She told us about my cousins. They really dont treasure what they have. Stay here they take advantage of the maid and dont even respect us. Stay over at my grandma house also they take advantage of her. Haiz. Dont know what is going to happen to them. Dont need to think too much about them. Make me headache only. Whatever it is they are still my cousins.



We drop my grandma home then we went to compass point. There we ate at Sakura. I and my sis bought this shining silver and black some sort of belt there. Then we left compass point and went to Bras Basah. I finally got my malay workbook. Gosh i nearly search the whole world and i finally got it. Well now i am home and i am going swimming later. I need to exercise more. So i wont get sick. Well something about me and him. I dont really know what is happening to us. So what the hell.


Now i am home alone. Sis went for piano lessons. My mum and dad and my moronic bro went to the doctor to take medicine. I am so lonely and scared now.


Aqilah Oreth

- Post

Well this is my fourth post for today.


What i am feeling now does anybody cares? Haiz.I feel so stupid.I am not angry with him.Just abit maybe.It is because when he was talking to me and i did not reply cause i dont know what to say then he say you go play your computer ar.I know where my piorities lies.He is more important then my computer.So i just put down the phone.I switch off my handphone cause i cant take it no more.All his nonsense i am putting up with.I dont mind.For him anything is possible.


His so called god sister when she messages i know she care about Abdul.But she must know what i am feeling.I am not saying she is mean or anything.But really i know where my piorities lies..When it comes to family and boyfriend i would go with my family cause my family is everything to me. I know i am not a good girlfriend.I am nonsense.Haiz.


Why is my life so complicated.My irritating brother is crying for no reason.Shit lah he.Make me headache.Haiz. I dont know what to do anymore. I need my sister. I am so sick i feel like killing myself. But everyone knows that i wont. Haiz. He wont read this post. Cause he never go online also. Shit lah. Dont know who will read this post also.


Aqilah Oreth :'(

Kak Linda's Wedding Photos!




The 3 kendarat or something like that..






The only me..





The 3 Pretty girls



Nana & Lala




Me and Bik Siti



Isaac and me in the morning of the wedding



After the hard day of work, we changed then we take picture.Whee!



Trip to America and Canada!

Me looking sad thinking about everyone in Singapore. Was at Miami international airpot.






Me together with auntie olga and uncle melgan at a Shopping Centre




Big happy Family




The caravan we used to go to Canada



Closer look on the caravan




My long lost auntie together with me and isaac and ryan and randall.



Finally the whole family were reunited :)




The cutie Randall Oreth



Me and Isaac at the Niagara Falls.




Behind the falls



Niagara Falls



Niagara Falls




Me and Isaac at Toronto Science Centre.




At Canada,Toronto with everyone.




Auntie,Isaac me and Nenek




At disneyworld!



Me at Disneyworld. Magic Kingdom



Daddy, me and Isaac at toontown..

- What dreams are made of by Hilary Duff

"What Dreams Are Made Of"


Hey now
Hey now

Hey now
Hey now


Have you ever seen such a beautiful night?
I could almost kiss the stars for shining so bright
When i see you smiling, I go
oh oh oh
i would never want to miss this
cuz in my heart i know what this is


[Chorus]
Hey now
Hey now
This is what dreams are made of
Hey now
Hey now
This is what dreams are made of
I've got somewhere i belong
I've got somebody to love
This is what dreams are made of


(Hey now)
(Hey now)


Have you ever wondered what life is about?
You could search the world and never figure it out
you don't have to sail the oceans
no no no
happiness is no mystery it's here now it's you and me


[Chorus]


Open your eyes (This is what dreams are made of)
shout to the sky (This is what dreams are made of)


Then i see u smiling, I go
oh oh oh
Yesterday my life was duller
Now everything's technicolor

[Chorus]

(Hey now)
(Hey now)
Hey now
This is what dreams
This is what dreams are made of
Hey now
Hey now
This is what dreams are made of
I've got somewhere i belong
I've got somebody to love
This is what dreams are made of
(Hey now)
(Hey now)
Hey now
This is what dreams
This is what dreams are made of

Bored

Well i am sick again..Shit lah..Everytime sick..I was on mc yesterday and today..Haiz..I am so bored..Today suppose to have POA test and Social Studies test but now i missed it..Haiz..


Yesterday was our 8th month anniversary..He came over to my house cause my mum dont let me go out cause i was sick..So ya he stayed till 9 then he went home..He is feeling sad right now cause i cant go out with him today..He wanted to go out with me so badly..And i also want to go out with him..Haiz..He no mood..I know he angry with me..Why am i so stupid as to get sick..I am sick at a wrong time..


His god-sister i think messaged me in the morning..Everytime she message i will feel so hurt and i will cry deep inside my heart..Cause one of the message she sent is ' msg him lah. talk to him. he sad than you dont want to do anything. ' i felt so hurt that i feel like killing myself..How does she know whether i am doing anything or not..I would rather die then hurt him..No one knows me..Only my sis does..But she is now too busy..I cannot tell her anything..I dont want to make her sad..I have no one to turn to..I am so lonely..I need someone..His so called god sis is not helping but making me more guilty..I have never felt like this before..I know i am in the wrong..But if he is sad i am too..


I am so called you can say Daddy's pet..I am the one who is scared of defying my parents..I always get help from my sister..I want to go out with him also i so scared..It is not that i dont want to go out with him..But it is just that..Haiz..I dont know what to say already..No one knows what i am feeling now..I just want to cry..I dont know what to do anymore..I give up..


There is alot of questions in my head that needs answering..And i can only tell that it is really2 alot.. I dont know how to answer them..


Here i am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Cant deny it
Cant pretend
just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you wont get to see the tears i cry
Behind these hazel eyes


Lyrics from Kelly Clarkson, Behind these hazel eyes.Haiz.


Aqilah Oreth :'(

Fcuked up

Haiz today was just so bad i say..I am getting a fever..I think..I dont know whether i am quarreling with him but i am not angry with him..I love him too much to be angry with him..Really..I guess no one reads my blog except myself..Haiz..I dont know who to turn too..I dont know what to do anymore..I just want to break down and cry!!! I really2 dont know what to do anymore..


Got to go dont know do whatever shit i have to do



Aqilah Oreth :'(

Depressed!

Well today i never go school..Yup..That is why i am here blogging..I am going to the doctor later maybe..Have headache since like forever..Trying to find out why..But nothing comes in my mind..Haiz he is also not in school today..He was crying in the morning..Cause his dad beat him..I dont know ar..Then i message him no one replied..I was messaging to no one..Thinking about him is making me going crazy..I have sleepless nights..I will wake up at 3.30 in the morning..I dont know why..But it has been going on for days..Weird it is always around 3.30..Haiz..Well what the hell


I dont know what is going on with my life..I have been like always alone..I miss my sis..I miss him..They have their N' level so i cant do anything..Haiz..But i am really like super sad..Sometimes i feel like breaking down and cry my heart out..But every night i have been crying cause i miss him alot..Haiz..My sis has been stressed..But i will try to help her in any way i can..But first i must do something about my life..I wish my sis would not be so stressed up then at least i could still tell her my problems..Even my schoolmates i dont want to tell..Cause i cannot trust anyone now..Haiz.Everything has changed..


Lets see if this goes on forever..If it does i am really going to die..Haiz..Even school is difficult..Have tests for the next whole week...On top of worrying about my studies i have to worry about all the other things in the world..My life is in a mess..I need to work it out..


got to go..Cannot think of what to write already..Shit..


Depressed Aqilah Oreth.

-bored

Ok so life is boring for me..Sis say i have been lazy lately..I hope i am not..So maybe starting from next week my days will be filled with activities..Be it jogging,swimming or studying..I must do something..One of the reasons is so i wont be so sad without him..I wont call him anymore..I dont want to disturb him with his studies and i want him to rest more..

Life has been so different..I feel like i am in a changed world..Even my friends have changed..I miss my old times..Now i am a lonely girl..I am like so bored..Even my sis dont have time for me no more..She has got her 'N level to worry about..Now is everybody is doing their own stuffs..Quite sad actually for me..

Today i went out..Went to take my grandma from the hospital..While i was there i thought of what would i do if i have to stay there alone..I would want to experience..Who would care for me? Many questions..Haha..Stupid me..Who wants to stay in a hospital? Then from there went to Suntec City and then Wisma Atria the Shing Siong..Alot of places huh in just one day..Damn bloody tired though..And worst of all i have my menses..Shit lah..And i had headache since like forever and i am coughing and sneezing..I am full of nonsense lah.. Now everybody is watching Kingdom Of Heaven..Stupid show if you ask me..I am not interested..So here i am..Blogging away..


Well that it is for now..My hands are getting numb..


Lots of hugs and Kisses
-Aqilah Oreth

-Post

School has started and so far it has been boring.. Nothing has changed except for one sad thing..Later i will talk more of it..


The USA trip is ok ..I went to Canada, Toronto..There i went to the Niagara Falls..Then i was at Florida and ya i went to Disneyworld..It was ok..


I am stressed up now..Everything is so..Argh!! I cant describe it..I cant go back with him anymore..Today i walked home then i hear the 'We Belong Together' and i actually cried..Shit me..But i think he dont know and i dont want to tell him..I dont wish to make him sad anymore..From this day onwards i will try to make him happy.. Haiz..I so miss him alot..I am going to see less of him nowadays..


Some of the lyrics that i like from 'We Belong Together' by Mariah Carey

When you left i lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please, cause
We belong together



Argh!! I am missing him like crazy!!


Got to go already..


Bye..


lots of hugs and kisses,
Aqilah Oreth

Home Sweet home soon!

I am leaving for Singapore soon..

Will update when i reach Singapore about my trip to Canada and America..

Got to go shopping now..

Till next time..

Sayonara..


Aqilah Oreth

Misses

Hey i just miss everyone in Singapore..I cant live without my sister..I just miss her disturbing me and making me irritated..I hope time passes fast..So i can go and hug my sister.. I miss my mummy.. I miss how she use to scold me all the time but i know she loves me..I miss Abdul.. I miss talking to him and doing stuffs with him..


Now here inAmerica is 1.30 in the afternoon..My daddy and bro is sleeping..I am crying here...Alone..Yesterday we had a party here..It was my other cousin i guess..I was not there..I was in my room alone..Missing my baby and my sister..Haiz :'( I might go out today..I want to get my sis things and my mummy's things..i might not update tomorrow or the next day cause i might go out..I am leaving for Canada on Monday which means i cant go online..I am so going to miss everyone..Sobx :'(


I got to go..I hope everybody is doing fine there in Singapore..Take care..


.: Hugs and misses :.
.: Aqilah Oreth :'( :.


In America is afternoon
In Singapore is morning

In America

Well me updating from America..It has been 7 years since the last time i came here..And everything changed..Ryan has grown bigger..He is heavier than Isaac imagine that..Randall here just like to smile and be happy..such a cutie.. Now it is night but in Singapore it is morning.


I so miss my sister..I so miss my mummy..I so miss Abdul..I so miss everyone..But i will try to be happy yeahs here..But just remember everyone of my friends..I LOVE YOU GUYS!!


Kak Yana please dont cry anymore..It really hurts me knowing that you cried for me..I am sad too..But i will come back and buy for you loads of thing..I LOVE YOU ALOT2 okies..Remember that i am always by your side no matter where i am..Stay happy..


Abdul Nur i know you are sad also..But no matter where i am also i will never forget you cause you are my baby darling..Take care! Study hard..Take care of my sis okies..Make sure


Ok..I got to go..Take care..Abdul Nur eat and gain more weight and get well soon..Kak yana study hard and all your dreams may be fufiled...Good luck..


.: Lots of hugs and misses :.
.: Aqilah Oreth:.

Time in America: 1.22am
Time is Singapore: 12.26pm

leaving to america!

Well this might be my last post in Singapore till i go to America..I am going on the 8th June at 6am in the morning..


Well i hope it will be a good experience for me..Going there as a teenager..Shopping there,having fun there and do all the stuffs a teenager would do there.. I am so going to miss doing all these thing with my sis..She is like my companion but she wont be there with me in America..But i will miss her alot2..

I will miss all my friends and Abdul also..


Got to go already..Sorry short entry but i will try to update more okies...


Till next time...


Sayonara


Take care everyone..


Enjoy your holidays..


.:Lots Of Hugs And Kisses.:
.:Aqilah Oreth.: