merry x'mas

hey wells so it is christmas day today.

different from last year

this year is more quiet

my cousins are out of town.

and i am like so totally bored.

kinda have a headache now

so shit.

its ok.

ella,fiq and my neighbours are here now.

havoc the house.

haha.

well they make me happy and that is good.

just now i did not went swimming.

but i went down

then all of them pulled me to the pool

kak yana also did not go swimming.

but ended up getting wet.

hehe.

oh wells

now i want to think about my new year's resolution

cause it is like 6 more days till the new year.

so fast huh

and next year i am taking my n'level.

so the first resolution is to pass my n'level and hopefully get 5 points.

ok i am getting bored of typing already.

toodles.

and MERRY X'MAS EVERYONE!!!

love,

lala

today

ok i am like so bored.

i want to go out with my friends and just be crazy for one day.

haiz.

i will die staying at home.

today we are having a small children christmas party.

cause the older people had one.

hope it will be great cause i helped to cook nasi lemak.

and i wasted alot of money on buying presents.

actually not waste.

cause i like buying presents.

i hate guys.

they just dont understand me.

i know i am being selfish for not opening my heart again

but that is who i am.

my heart is still broken and how i wish it will heal again.

it needs time to heal.

haiz.

i just need to be alone.

thanks tasha.

i just miss this crazy girl.

miss bullying her and talking craps with her.

i read your blog and it is super sweet.

i love you too tasha.

oh wells she is the best.

well i got to go.

get ready to party everyone.

cant wait till christmas and a brand new year.

i am taking my n's next year and i want to do well.

so less com time and tv time for me.

goodbye tv and com.

wait it is not 2006 yet

ok i will stop my crap.

toodles.

p/s 4 more days till chritmas.cant wait.

love,

lala*

life is shit.

here i am feeling miserable and he is out there playing pool.

haiz.

maybe he is happy going to ITE

then i should be happy and forget him and wish him all the best.

being with him for nearly a year makes it abit difficult to forget him

and it hurts just trying to forget him

i got a sore throat.

i am coughing.

i think i am getting a fever.

i dont know.

thanks nashri for caring about me.

but dont go to the extend then you cant sleep cause of me ok.

thanks haizal for messaging me every night.

sorry i cant reply.

cause my prepaid low.

thanks nazi for chatting with me last night.

all these are boys huh.

ya.

well just to let you guys know.

dont fall in love with me.

i am nothing compared to other girls.

ok.

i am sorry.

tasha boyfriend failed also.

and she cried.

she thinks its her fault.

well tasha although he is my ex.

i feel the same way.

i got to clean the house.

he is going to town now.

well hope you are happy.

love,

lala *

results.

today is the day where all the n'level get their results.
well i am super happy and proud for my sister.
this is the first time she passed all.
including her maths.
thumbs up sis.
i know you can do it.
i am super proud to be your sister
(:
abang nazlie passed
i am so glad.
shan and sandral passed.
ok congratulations.
cant wait to meet you guys next year.

ok the post sounds boring.
not really boring but sad
well i am sad
and disappointed.
abdul failed
he FAILED!
i am so sad.
heart broken to many pieces.
i cried in the car.
for the first time.
i just feel like it is my fault.
well i cant accept him back now.
i am so sad.

i cant type anymore
i am going to cry
the day is spoiled.
haiz.

toodles.
:'(

lala*

my life

ok so i am coping.

trying to forget love,

trying to be happy.

and people are helping me.

on the 14 december 05.

i was super happy.

tasha,iena,quraisah,kaiyisah was at my house.

we went swimming.

we were gossiping about people first before swimming.

ha!

we ate like pigs.

i am getting darker i think.

haha.

oh wells yesterday was sad at night.

abdul mum messaged me.

dont want to go into details.

ask me if you want to find out!

there is someone sleeping over tonight.

Yeahs!

nur farella know as ella is slepping over.

we are so going to sleep late.

ha!

cant wait.

well i this sunday am collecting 3oo bucks.

it is edusave scholorship.

i got top 10%

woohoo!

money here i come.

then next year i am collecting 150 bucks!

for EAGLES award.

i am getting rich.

hehe.

(:

ok cant brag much.

i cant wait for 27 december also.

i have auditions for next year danceworks.

i hope i get in.

i am praying to get in.

well if i am not good enough then ok.

thats all for now i think

and oh ya.

thanks haizal for trying to make me happy.

i appriciate it.

ok my hands hurt.

Toodles!

lala*

love

its been a long time since i talk about love in this blog.

well what is love to me.

love is nothing to me anymore.

i know that you have to love to be loved in return.

i dont know.

i dont hate abdul.

but he is making me hate him

i dont want to accept any boy.

i know i am just saying this.

but i am just tired.

very.

its too painful.

i wish that there is at least one guy that i can love for the rest of my life.

all things have changed since abdul came and went out of my life.

i dont know me anymore.

the aqilah that was once cheery is gone.

she just cant breathe anymore.

i just want to stick to loving my family.

i guess that is enough for me.

maybe i will just admire the guys.

admire those who are in love.

just admire.

thats all i got to say about love.

practically nothing but crap.

but i am happy that all that was out.

toodles.

lala*

This pictures are not arranged to date (:


Surprise Birthday party on 041205 at Orchid Country Club.


My lovely family after the party at the hotel.


My pressies (:


My princess ballon bought by my mum. It even has my name (:


My friends were there too.Whee!


Me cutting my most favourite cake.


My favourite cake! Thanks mummy (:


Overdue pics!



Pelyn,sis and me. We kissed after the performance.We are not les ok.


CHR modern dance 2005



Mummy,nana & lala going out to raya.Woohoo!


Our art work during the art camp 2005. Isn't it beautiful (:


The so called artists.
From left,me,syazannah,nasriah,miss sharifah,nina,hidzir,nazirul.



Thats all for now (:

birthday (:

On Sunday 4 December.

The happiest day of my life.

There was a suprise party to celebrate me turning 15.

All planned by my loving family.

Thanks alot.

Thanks to the people who were there and helped.

Thanks to my parents and siblings.

Thank you everyone.

(:

Those who cant make it or was not invited.

Your messages were more then enough to brighten up my day.

Thanks.

I got lots of presents this year.

After so long.

I think this is the best party i had.

Everyone wore pink and white.

I had a princess ballon.

I am so happy.

Yesterday was 5 December.

My birthday.

I am now a year older.

It feels great.

I went out with my family.

My mummy bought a new hp.

So cool.

We went Swensens to eat.

My daddy paid.

Then i went to topshop to buy one shirt.

Thanks to Kak linda & hubby and Kak Nadiayah.

They gave me some sort of a topshop voucher.

Then we went home.

So that is what i did for my birthday.

Exciting huh.

Oh ya.

The suprise birthday was at Orchid Country Club.

Cool place.

Thanks Kak Yanti.

She worked there.

So we even got to sleep over there.

The rooms were huge.

Ok lah.

I stop here for now.

I am 15 already.

Going to make my ic soon

(:

toodles everyone!

lala*

the dance.

we looked great.

we were beautiful.

but our peformance sucked.

maybe it was due to the lack of practices.

maybe it was just that we sucked.

anyway the nine dancers did our best.

i know that we did our best.

maybe we are just not good enough.

we shall try and make it better next time.

this is a lesson to learn.

yesterday my whole family came to see our performance.

expected more people to be there but never mind.

Nashri we will meet one day.

dont be upset.

My birthday is coming.

but there is no excitement this year.

but i am just looking foward to the dinner on next Monday.

The dinner i am haviing with my family and a few other people

that is all for now.

toodles.

lala*

dancing.

Stay at home also what can i do.

use the com maybe for awhile

then watch tv also maybe awhile.

that is the most i can do

go dance also wrong.

I know i have been MIA from home.

Due to the belumut trip and now the dance.

But seriously what can i do at home.

I dont have a bf now.

So i have nothing to do.

Nobody understands me.

Haiz.

I go back after dance, do housework also got complain meh?

Never.

Morning i will try my very best to do the chores then go out to dance.

I tired also i got complain or not?

Haiz.

Yesterday meet up late abit got scolding.

Today come back late also get scolding.

Maybe today is my fault lah.

I dont know lah.

I am tired.

Not trying to complain.

I cant even talk to anyone now.

I want to let out my feelings.

So i guess the only way is through the blog.

My whole body is aching now.

I am so glad that i am not sick.

Just the stupid migranes everyday.

Stupid migranes.

Modern dance so rocks.

I so love it.

Kenzi rocks.

Pelyn rocks.

Joan rocks.

Amelea rocks.

Natasha rocks.

Sulaztry rocks.

Diyanah rocks.

Jazli rocks.

and Miss Tan so rocks my socks.

(:

Ok.

Me now super duper tired.

Want to go bath then clean.

Toodles everyone.

Oh ya anyway i will be dancing.

On Sunday.

At Vista Park

My dance will be around 6.35

If you are free and you know me please come.

Thanks and toodles again.

lala*

hectic week

Well this whole week is crazy.

On Monday i went out together with Tasha,Hui Shan,my sis and of course myself.

We met up with the boys after that.

We had fun.

I bought this new top.

Which cost me 22.90.

My money gone.

We took neoprints.

I will update the pics later.

It was a great day that i will never forget.

Then i had an art camp.

3 days.

It was fun overall.

I just hate drawing.

Cause i am a POA student like duh.

Nazirul,Hidzir,Syazanna,Nina,Nasriah and me.

We are the six people.

All not related to art except for Nina.

Haha.

We took neoprints.

Will update all later.

We did a nice art piece.

It is just so beautiful (:

the 3 days were great.

Yesterday was my school anniversary dinner.

It was boring.

Last year was much fun.

This may be the last year i am going.

I am not going anymore.

My parents have donated enough.

I was like a shining star.

I had glitter all over.

The food was ok.

Later i am going to watch Harry Potter.

Yeahs!

Cant wait.

So i will update next time when i am free ok.

Trying to forget him anyway.

lala*

i hate boys!!

Just get out and never come back to my life.

I dont want to fall in love or communicate with boys.

It hurts!

Alot!

No one knows.

Abdul if you read this i and Yun have nothing.

I dont like him.

Whatever.

Yun if you get to read this.

Ignore me all you want.

I will ignore you too.

Abang Rahim if you can read this also.

I dont want to talk to you anymore.

Although you have said sorry.

I just have had enough of critisim.

I know i am a bitch who broke up with your best friend.

Hate me all you want.

I am just tired.

Tired.

I am trying hard to tell myself not to cry.

But everyday shit happens

Nothing has ever been a great day for me.

All i do is idiotly crying at night.

To people who do stuffs like this.

To me the question is am i crying for a good reason?

I dont know.

I DONT KNOW!

Sometimes i feel like killing myself.

So that i wont be too sad.

Today i watch chinese show.

I think about him

Do i love him?

If i do will i regret if i die without telling him?

I dont know.

Haiz.

I dont know what to say already.

My life is in a mess.

lala*

hate him

ok people listen.

We are over.

No more Abdul and Aqilah.

He has hurt me too many times.

I hate him.

I hate him :'(

My life cant get any worse than this.

I would rather die then carry on.

This is toturing.

I HATE ABDUL NUR!!

i dont want to think about you anymore.

You are out of my life forever.

We are never going to be together.

Dont bother waiting for me.

I dont want you anymore.

I just want to be ME,MYSELF AND I!!!!

go away.

Just get out.

I hate my life.

I so hate it.

Nobody knows how i feel.

lala*

broke up.

this post is for Abdul Nur.

I treasure the time we had together.

Those were my greatest memories that i will never forget.

You were my first true love.

I am sorry that this had to happen.

Well it is a decision i made.

It was difficult.

But this is the best.

Maybe not for you but for me.

Today is suppose to be our 1 year anniversary.

I am sorry that we did not go all the way.

I am sorry.

But to let you know that i still care for you.

I wont forget you.

And i wont forget all the nice things that you have done for me.

101405.

Sorry.

I hope you read this.

lala*

photos.

Mount Lambak and Mount Belumut trip!

Yun, me and dina at the summit of Mount Belumut.

Sakinah,me,dina,Lenny and Leong Kiat at the top of Mount Belumut.

Lenny,Sakinah,me and Dina at the top of Mount Lambak

Meina and Meilahat Mount Lambak


Meilah and Meiny at Mount Lambak.

The beautiful scenery at Mount Lambak.

Sakinah,me,Lenny and Dinaat hotel lobby.


Hari Raya photos so far!

Me,Farah,Isaac and Kak yana




Me,alya,kak nadiyah and Ryanat nyai house.

Kak yana,Kak Nadiyah, me and extra elephant at the back.

Me and Ryan

Kak Yana, Auntie Juliana and me

mount belumut trip

So long never update.

Just came back yesterday from Kluang.

I conquered 2 mountains.

That is mount lambak and mount belumut.

This is going to be a long entry so bear with me okies.

First day had to wake up early to be in school by 6.30.

Imagine the time i had to wake up.

Waited for the bus and i sat beside Yun.

Cause Sakinah had to sit with someone else.

Then reached the hotel around 11.

We unpacked.

Went for lunch at 12.

Then we head to Mount Lambak.

Climbed there.

Everyone made it.

We got back to the hotel around 6.

Wash up then went for dinner at around 7.

Then had our group reflection and overall reflection.

That was great.

Oh ya.

The people who stick to me.

I mean as a group.

They are Sakinah,Fardina,Lenny,Suba,Vivien,Yun and of course me.

They were great fun.

During the hike,either Leong or Yun will help me.

So the day had passed.

The second day had wake up call at 6.

Went down for breakfast at 7.

Took the bus to Mount Belumut at around 8.30.

Then went up the mount belumut.

Mount Belumut i would not want to got again.

I got bitten by leeches.

Two of them.

One on each leg.

Now the legs have scars of it.

I am the first to notice that there is a leech.

So ass.

Hate leeches.

Curse them.

They like me maybe cause i am sweet.

Those bloodsuckers.

Went up with my group.

A guy called Ian helped me and so did Siew Ming.

Then halfway going up, Dina,Lenny and Yun ended up with me.

Lenny was independent.

Dina and me helped each other.

Yun had to help Suba.

Then we make fun of them.

Muahaha.

The trip down.

Same people.

Then Leong made new mei.

Lenny and Fardina.

So now we have a new group.

Meiny+Meina+Meilah+Korkiat.

Forever and ever.

Love them loads.

Ok all except Desmond and Mr Seah conqured the mountain.

We reached the peak at around 6.30.

We all went back to the hotel then straight for dinner.

Then we all washed up and did our normal reflection.

Then we all got free time.

But i went to sleep.

Cause no mood.

The leech fault lah.

Then i and Sakinah went to bed.

Next day morning call at 8.

Went down for breakfast.

Then we had a last meeting.

We all had alot of people to praise.

Then chocolates were given out.

Then went back to the room to pack.

Then we checked out at 12.

We left Kluang for Johor.

I slept in the bus then something funny happened.

I was shocked and awaken.

Yun was shocked when i moved.

I had a bad dream.

About him

Well dont want to talk about it.

Lucky Yun was there.

We went shopping at Angsana.

The same old people was with me.

Then reached home at 7.

My darling sis fetch me.

So sweet.

Ok lah.

That is about the whole trip.

I quarrel with him.

Somehow or rather it is difficult to forgive him now.

I am so tired.

Very.

It is just that i know he will do the same thing over and over again.

Why must i make myself miserable.

Why?

I just feel like being alone and free.

No problems.

I dont know already.

I am tired of typing.

So till next time.

Toodles.

lala [meilah] *

selamat hari raya.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI MAAF ZAHIR BATIN!!!

to all the muslims out there.

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!!

to all the hidus out there (:

So ok today is the first day of hari raya.

My whole family is wearing black.

I slept at 3 this morning and woke up at 9 this morning.

Totally exhausted.

Gosh!

Tomorrow i got to go school for training.

Damn it.

Now waiting for people to come.

Dont know what time i going to sleep also.

Die!

Ok lah.

Got to go.

Guest are arriving.

Take care everyone.

Toodles.

lala*

happy halloween

Today is halloween.

I became a genie thanks to my modern dance costume.

Collected lots of sweets together with amy and tasha as well.

Alot of nice costumes around.

Maybe next year i will be princess or miss universe.

hehe (:

Tomorrow i going out with abdul so now i must clean the house.

Toddles.

Take care everyone.

And to the hindus.

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!!!

lala *

results.

my report book is back.

guess what.

i got 8th in class and in the whole normal acad.

woohoo!

lets party man.

i am like so freaking happy about my results.

top 10.

hmm ok enough about that.

i am quarreling with him.

dont know lah he.

he just cant understand me.

i am like so freaking sad.

haiz.

i dont know how long this will go on.

ok lah

gtg

will update more next time.

toodles.

lala*

sobx.

He was here.

From 7.30 to 9.30

but it felt like 5 mins.

my asshole brother made my dad come back tomorrow.

so shit.

not that i hate him.

i cant spent time with abdul.

haiz.

life is so unpredictable.

today get scolding from my mummy till like shit.

i am just trying to make cookies.

is that wrong.

everyone dont want to do it.

and one mistake and i will get one hell of a scolding.

tomorrow have IT course and training.

so stress.

i want to get school over and done with.

tomorrow also might get report book.

i am going to the school dinner anyway.

so bored.

and the house is damn messy.

so shit.

got to go.

toddles.

lala*

update

so hari raya is coming.

not very excited this year.

again.

this year is like so fast hari raya already.

so boring.

today just started to make cookies.

make cornflakes and chocolate chip.

then will be making two type of chocolate thingy.

then another round of chocolate chip.

then it is done.

the rest will be buying at malaysia.

tomorrow i will go school.

today i never.

tomorrow i got course.

and then got training.

so tiring.

wednesday go school for i also dont know.

then after school go malaysia take the hari raya clothes.

thursaday go school.

after school got course.

i will go out with abdul either thursday or friday.

someone seriously have a big problem with me.

dont want to name that person.

but that person despise me alot.

have i changed?

this is a question to everyone and that particular person.

if have anything to say tell me.

if not just dont say anyhow.

this is crap man.

frustrated?

yes i am very.

got to go clean up the damn house.

if not my sis say i will not do anything.

i very lazy.

blah, blah, blah.

toddles everyone.

lala *

english results.

I am so sad.

Just when all my results are passing,

i had to fail my damn english.

not really overall.

paper 2.

but this is so sad.

Haiz.

I am sick again.

I haven recover.

So i am not in school yet.

I miss my friends alot.

I want to go to school tomorrow.

lala*

results!

Ok i am sick.

Very sick.

Cannot sleep the whole of last night.

Just thinking about him is making it worse.

He hardly sleep a wink last night.

You dont want to know the reason why.

I am just so worried about him.

I am not angry with him.

I dont want to for no reason.

Haiz.

I dont know what to say.

:(

Today i did not go school.

But my darling friends tell me my marks.

It is as followed.

Principal of accounts - 75/100

Geography - 36/50

Social Studies - 25/50

Malay - 78/100

Physics - 32.5/50

Chemistry - 39.5/50

Maths - 50/100

English - unknown.

You can say i did well.

But i dont think i did.

I just pass my maths and social studies.

Haiz.

Well for the rest maybe i am getting the hang of it.

Just waiting for my english results.

Tired now.

Want to rest.

Toodles.

lala *

happy 8th birthday.

God has blessed us with a boy named Isaac Oreth.

Born on the 8th October 1997.

Today he celebrates his 8th birthday.

Well from a sister to this brother.

I just want to wish you all the best in life.

And i will always love you although you are an irritating pest.

Muacks!

11th month anniversary/

this is so called my saddest day.

11th month anniversary.

and i am not with him.

haiz.

he said that if he blames me also what is the use.

so i guess i am to be blamed.

i am the girl that everyone hates.

my chest hurts.

i am sick.

no one hears my sorrow.

i am sorry.

that is all i can say.

i know it is always my fault.

what you said made me cry and has hurt me deeply.

but i know it is my fault.

sorry.

now i am stupidly thinking of stupid things.

this is so shit.

shit.

i just want to cry.

tralalala

Ok exams are finally O-V-E-R!!!

So glad that it is over.

Been stressed until cannot stress already.

Today the final paper was Principal Of Accounts.

Ok how was it? It was quite ok.

Not very easy paper.

Abdul is sick

I am sorry.

I have been a jerk lately.

Causing my examinations period to affect you.

Am sorry that i could not visit you today.

I feel so bad.

Sorry.

Well take care.

I love you alot.

I dont like to see you sick.

Today is going to be the 8th day of the fasting month.

Many things happen.

Mastura: Dont be too sad girl. Your guy will get well. God will always be with him Cheer up (:

Abdul: Please take care. I love you alot.

Ok to the rest. Just take care.

Be dengue free.

Muacks.

Toodles.

Enjoy the bulan ramadhan to all the muslims.

lala *

End of year exams.

Ok so fasting month is here. Good news. Then my exams are almost over. Two more days till all my misery is done. Have not been myself lately cause of the pressure i am in. Tomorrow is physics. My worst nightmare. Today was maths and i nearly cried. Cause i did not know alot of things and i did alot of stupid mistakes. This is so depressing. I just hope that i dont do so bad. I cant afford to. My dad has so much confidence in me. I dont want to let him and my mummy down again after my common test.

Ok so fasting month. Today is the 6th day already. I have like about 24 more days to go till hari raya. Woohoo... But i miss Abdul alot. Cause we cant touch each other during fasting month. It is a sin. Dont really know why it is a sin. But i will just follow it for now and find the answer another time. I am damn tired now. But i have to go study for my physics. Toodles everyone. Wish me all the best and may god bless me for tomorrow.



lala *

back

Well ok been a very long time since i update. Well life has been stressful due to examinations. Today is the first day of the major paper. Geography and social studies one day. Head now going haywire. Here is my exam schedule:

30th November - English and Malay paper 1.
5th October - Geography and Social Studies.
6th October - English and Malay paper 2.
7th October - Science(Chemistry) .
10th October - Mathematics paper 1 & 2 .
11th October - Science(Physics) .
12th October - Principle of Accounts 1 & 2 .

Well this is going to be crazy. I want to pass all. ALL!!!! I dont want to do badly. I am so stressed up. I have a headache and my stupid bro is like crying cause never go library. So shit. Haiz.I miss him alot. Alot that i want to hug and kiss him and lala with him. I miss him :'(

Anyway got to go now. Have to study for my chem and physics. Bye everyone.


lala *

Sobx \

I dont know what i am thinking anymore. I dont want to think anymore about unwanted stuffs. I cant take anymore. My studies. I am trying my so very best. That it hurts me you can say.

So the other things i am refering to well is my other social things. Cant really detailed it cause i got no strength. All my strength is gone. I am so weak that i can barely do anything. I am feeling sad. But i dont know why. So sad. My stomach has been weak lately. So i barely eat. Eat abit here and there. Ok. I dont want to write no more. I am too sad. Quarrel with him.


My exams are just around the corner. May god bless me. May it help me with my studies. But i must help myself. Well really trying real hard. I want to pass. Now i dont have confidence. So stressed and i haven even wash the dishes. Shit lah.


lala *

SentoSa!

Tralalala. hehe. Back from SentoSa. I slept overnight there at Shangri-La's Rasa SentoSa ResoRt. Whee. Hotel. A Singaporean staying in Singapore hotel. Haha. What to do? Malaysia now corrupted like hell. People killing here and there. Robbing here and there. Rapping here and there. The place is a nightmare. Now want to go also must wear like apek and nonya. Ok stop here. I want to talk about SentoSa tRip.

Well we checked in around 2 noon. With the help ok Kak Shirin driving the car over. If not i think we will reach later. Haha. Well went to put the things all. Then went to eat at Burger King. Then went back to the hotel rest. Then went to Fort SiloSo. Then went to the SiloSo beach. Then went Swimming. Then went back to the hotel change. Then went to Musical Fountain. Then went to the hotel cafe to eat dinner. Then went back to sleep.That was for yesterday.

Today woke up at 8. Went for complimentary breakfast at the hotel cafe. Then we straight away went to the arcade. Haha. Played there awhile. Then to the pool table. Where i played pool for the first time against my sis and i won. Whee! Luck i guess. haha. Then from there we went to back to the room to freshen up. We checked out around 11.30. Went out of Sentosa then went to Suntec City do shopping abit. Then back to home sweet home. Tired. Went to clean all that. Now i am blogging.

Got to go sleep for tomorrow. Goodnight everyone.


butterfly kisses *
Lala

-Many happy happenings.

Well first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KENZI ONG and my classmate JANICE LIM. One has turn 13 and the other 15. Well wish them all the best only. Take care.

Then today is my ten month anniversary. Happy 10th month anniversary baby. I love you loads. Muacks! I am glad that we are still together. And i want to be with you forever and ever. I want to marry you and i want to have your kids. I cant wait for my 1 year anniversary. I am sorry i cant spent time with you. I am really sorry. I feel so bad. But i just want you to know that i love you alot. I can only spent more time with you after the end of year exams. That is when i wont have to worry on alot of things. I am sorry that i caused you alot of sadness and misery to your life.. Just sorry. Well i dont know what to say anymore. I got to go.

I love my family. Alot. All of them has sacrificed for me. They even shed tears for me. I am truely grateful. Thank you.

I got to go. Till next time i blog. Goodbye. Take care.


butterfly kisses *
Aqilah Oreth

....

The world is upside down now. Does anyone feel the same thing that i am feeling? The feeling of pain and just pure shit.

Ever heard of a younger brother calling you an idiot? Well mine does. My brother at the age of 8 whom controls my mum, sis and me. Seriously the world is upside down already. He is always asking for the damn toys. Which some he plays while and throw it away once he get bored of it. People says he is a young boy. Just eight. Well this stupid boy must be damn bloody stupid to me. He is not young to me. He surely have common sense. Unless he is so stupid. Have a pea brain. Then i accept. Maybe he is? Well what the fcuk. He is an ass to me. Someone whom i hate alot. Someone who does not need my respect. Someone rude.

Today i went to Malaysia. Went to do my baju raya. Abit too early huh? But better be early then late. Since we got the materials already. Went to look for the tailor was difficult. They shifted. And the weather was like freaking hot. Then we saw the place. But went to eat first at City. The we are me,mummy,sis and Sandral. So glad my brother was not there. Ok come back. After eating, went to look for the tailor. Found it at a small shopping mall. Did the measurement and stuffs. Then went off back to City Square. There went shopping. It was fun. Sandral bought a roxy wallet,skirt and shorts. Mummy bought pants. Sis bought skirt and i got myself a long pants. We were shopping like mad. Spent alot of money also. But it was quite cheap. I think Sandral was happy. So were we.

Then we went home. Took the bus. Sandral came to my house. Mummy went to work. Then Abdul came. That is when my brother made trouble. He called me an idiot. That was why i got angry. I called my mum. Told him he was at my house. Then she gave me 10 mins. Tell me what can you do with your boyfriend for 10 damn minutes. Practically nothing.

He went home. I knew he was sad. From the look of his face. I just feel so damn freaking bad. I am the meanest girl in the world. Each time i have to tell him to leave. He came all the way. Then he go home. He was so freaking sad. Now i dont know what to do no more. I miss him alot. And it is alot. We dont spend time together. We never go out also. Haiz. No one knows what i am feeling inside.

That is all i did today. I will be loving him always. Muacks.I love you Abdul!!

pRinceSs lala :'(

Life for me this days?

Well trying to be happy. But everyday just turns out to be a i dont know how to describe. this is just so fraustrating. I am so sad.

Today i am quite tired you can say. Woke up at 5.45 to go to school. Had belumut training from 7.30-8.30. Ran 5 rounds the death track[the track outside CHR where we use to run now]. Then finished i went to Banquet. With amelea and tasha. We ate. Then my baby come and fetch me go school. Then i actually lost my hp. I left it at Banquet. A kind man helped me to keep. Then my baby called the man. Then we went to take the hp. The man actually went to call my daddy. Who is at Batam. Gosh. There goes my prepaid. Then modern dance was for 2 long hours. With Adam. Pain. Then Miss Tan treat us KFC. So nice. Then i went home. Planned to sleep. But then i went swimming instead. Then met up with Abdul. Talk to him awhile. Then i have to pick up my stupid irritaing no respect for elders brother. This is just so fraustrating. I had to wait fo rthe bus for half an hour. Stupid bus. Moron. Then go there see my asshole bro buy toys. Then left. What a waste of time. So shit. Now here blogging away.


People do love me. People like Abdul, Nasriah and Amelea and Tasha. I so love them. Thanks. Alot of thanks. And to my other friend. Just thank you alot.


I dont know what is happening in my life. Just have to figure out i guess. Well i am so tired right now.


I am sorry baby. I have been creating problems for you one after another.One after another. Making you sad everyday. Haiz. I am stupid. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.


pRinceSs Lala :'(

SorRy

I am sorry. I am sorry. I dont know what to do anymore. You are not useless. Dont say like that. You are not useless. I love you alot. I was stupid to say that. Sorry. Sorry :'( Sorry. Sorry. I am sorry. Sorry. You are not the useless one. I am.Sorry. sorry :'(


Sorry. Sorry :'(



I love you alot2. I love you.Really :'(

A little of disappointment and alot of sadness

Sometimes i just feel like giving up. I did not do well for my exams. It is atrocious. The results i get shows the me. The real me is a fucking girl with a low IQ. I wanted to give up. My friends told me not to. So i wont. I fail three subjects. This whole year i never failed. This is to sad. I wont give up though.

I failed my Social Studies,Physics and POA. This is too much for me to handle. I may look happy. But sometimes i feel like breaking down to cry all the way. People have given me advices. I am thankful. Thanks. But this does not change anything. I am still so sad. Iwant to die. I feel like slitting my wrist. With a blade. This is so shit. I am shit. Everyone hates me. I just want to kill myself. Maybe a slow death is great.

I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die.I want to kill myself. I want to die. I want to kill myself. I dont want to live anymore. I am so stress. Argh!!!!


Aqilah Oreth

Is it a good or bad day?

Well firstly i would like to wish this people Happy Birthday. My darling sister. Happy 16th birthday. My friend Emilyza. Happy 14th birthday chicken. Hehe. Well two happy people turning older. Wonder when it is going to be my turn. I just hope i dont change too much though. Haiz. Ok well today had a small party for my sis. Sandral,Hui Shan and Abang Nazlie came. Ate cake and ate a few finger food. Then they went home. That is all.

Today get results. It is as follow. Physics:10/25.Chemistry:18/25.English:18/30.Maths:16/30.Geography:17/25.
That is what i get. Bad grades. Dont know what to say already.

Today is like pure shit. I slept like late night. Not late. Just woke up like a billion times. Wanted to talk to him but cannot. Then today i like went to look for him at the soccer court. he made me stand there like an idiot and say that later he will meet me. But what the hell can we talk about for 5 mins. Shit. This is all shit. I am just an idiot. An ass. I just hate him for doing that to me. Like countless time. The same thing. I just hate my life. Why do i have to go through this. This just sucks.


I dont know what to do anymore. My right side of near the stomach hurts. Like shit. Just feel like dying. No one knows. Only me. My mummy know then she say how? That was all. I feel like crying. I feel so lonely. I feel so sad. I got to go already.


Goodbye and so long. Till next time.



love,
Aqilah Oreth

My day!

Well i bought a new bikini! Yeahs! Yesterday went to Sentosa. For picnic and to just enjoy at the beach. It was ok. My sister bought a new Roxy shorts for her birthday. Then today i bought for her a barney ballon . And she also got money from my grandma. She is happy. Good enough.Well this is a short entry . Tomorrow i might update more. Till then goodbye!



love,
pRinceSs Lala

-Common test

Well tomorrow is my chemistry paper. Then my POA. Then it is over. The nightmare is over. I had a really difficult day today. Maths and physics. Gosh it was terrible. But i think i did my best. I am so damn tired. I feel like there is alot of load over my shoulder. It is a terrible feeling. It is not nice.


I have been having people to help me. Thank god to these people. Cant really name them. Haha. Private and confidential. Haha. Well just thanks alot. I am back with pelyn. Yeah we are back guys. Watch out for our madness. Haha. Thanks to darling Kenzi we are ok. Thanks. Thanks to my friends that is all lah. Haha. Everybody. And my family. Ya the most important person.


Next week i am going to perform. Yeahs! for teacher's day. Cannot wait. Haha. Well CHR people this is going to be a real treat for you guys. Teacher's day is going to be great. So better come. Haha. I am going to do my best for you. And ya. My darling sis birthday is next week. So fast she turn sweet sixteen and i am still fourteen. Got to wait till december. So long.


Ok i got to go study Chemistry. Wish me all the best. Love you all. Muacks!



love,
Aqilah Oreth

I...am sorry!

I am sorry. I dont want to quarrel with you no more. I got a splitting headache now. Sorry darling. Sorry. Sorry. I dont know what to say already. I dont know whether it is my fault or not. I dont know. I dont know. I am sad. I am sorry. I am stressed.

Tomorrow is my maths and physics test. I am so scared. I am terrified. I am scared. I want to do well. I have faith in my geography. I can pass. Now i need god's blessing. Oh man!

I am so shit. So so shit. Sobx :'(

I lovee euu!!

I AM SORRY PELYN!! THANKS KENZI!! THANKS TASHA!!

THANKS AMY!! THANKS EVERYONE!! I LOVE ALL OF

YOU!! MUACKS!!

- FuCk you Bitch

This is dedicated to a bitch. Who think that she is always right. Well you shit. You have made me fucking sad. It is all you. You are the one acting pityful shit. Ass. I hate euu! You made me say this. Natasha also you angry and she even had to say sorry. You where big you ass! Well sorry i am no pushover. I have to fight for my right. You never treasure friends. Want to angry then angry just like that. WAKE UP TO REALITY LAH. You are like in a dreamland. Which you think everything will go in your way. Well i have never known a girl as horrible as you. Pathetic ass. You can hate me for all i care. I am not in the wrong. You only know how to talk. Want to ignore me fine! Tell me the reason you fucking bitch. Come and talk to me lah. Not tag in blog useless. Hopeless.

-Fcuked up days!

Since yesterday things have never been right for me. Haiz. People hates me. For things i never did. Since yesterday. They never even find out the truth. Then angry with me for nothing. Yesterday was Pelyn. She said that i side with Joyce and dont know what shit. I dont know what is going on actually. Well for everybody's information i dont side with no one! I just love everybody from Modern Dance. I dont want anyone to quit. Somehow or rather i feel hurt when people quit! Seriously! God no one understands me! Then yesterday had dance and everything. I was dead tired after that. But went home did alot of chores all by myself! I am not complaining about the chores. I dont mind doind it alone. I want to help my sister. So she will be stress free and just concentrate on her Prelims. That is all i want for now. Then i slept late yesterday ya. Taught my sis maths. Iron a few clothes. Fold a few clothes. Then went to bed. Wierd is that i lost my voice while teaching. Gosh i dont know how i managed that.


Today i went to school as normal. But then one person i want to salam her say i talk bad things about her. What the Fcuk! What i do wrong. For everyone information again i dont talk bad about people. Even if i am advising people. I hate to hear people say things about me. And for your information Nurul, whoever the bloody hell go and tell you i talk bad about you ask the asshole to come talk to me and tell me what i say. Gosh. No facts then say anyhow. Please lah people. Find facts before blaming other people. The other people have feelings too. Not only you. And another thing Nurul, Amelea did not say that you were the one who tagged her board. She only suspects you. That is all ok. Gosh. And my baby is so i dont know what to say. He has no self confidence in himself. Haiz. Today another day is gone. Sooner or later i will be taking my N' level. I am now feeling 'shit'. You know S-H-I-T. I feel like vomiting and i have not done my housework. Got to go. I need to help my sis and also i need to study.


I need help from God. For me to survive!


love,
Aqilah Oreth :'(

-Whees!

Well yesterday i bought a pRinceSs fossil watch. Hehe. My daddy and mummy bought it for me. Thanks mummy and daddy. Love you loads! Well my sis bought a new bag and a pencil box. Oh ya and i bought this pink butterfly shirt. It is super nice. My bro bought a new Batman watch. My daddy bought a new Timberland wallet. My mummy bought new shoes. Everyone got something yesterday. So we were all happy. Hehe. I so love my Fossil watch. I will try to post the pic on the blog.

Today is my 9th month anniversary. Well long time with him. The longest guy i have ever been with and i love him alot! Thanks baby for always being there with me. So cannot live with out you. Muacks! Ok lah got to go. My daddy will scold.Will update more next time.


Love everyone!


love,
Aqilah Oreth

-lalala

Well today i am at home. Due to the sickness i got. Temperature went up to 38 degrees yesterday but today it went down. So glad. Later have teacher's day rehersal therefore i got to go to school. I think i got sick due to overworking. Well now when i go home i need to eat. Then rest awhile. Followed by doing my homework and studying. Then check on Isaac's homework. Then i must make all of them eat. Then i will pack my bag. Followed by washing the dishes and cleaning the house. Then i have to iron my school clothes and then i can rest. On Wednesday i had to change room. Therefore there was more work. Then the next day i felt like shit. Body hurts alot. That was yesterday. Yups. Then my body went all hot. Well that is all lah.


The three days holidays this is what i did:

Monday: Went out with Abdul, Abang Nazlie and Kak Liyana and me! We went to watch Charlie and the chocolate factory. Then we went to meet my mother for dinner. Then went to Esplanade awhile. Then i went home with him. It was around 10+ . I reached home around 11+ . Then i was sad. Something happen. Sis fought with mummy. Both of us was in the wrong. Therefore i said sorry.I was forgiven.

Tuesday: Sis fought with Mummy. Therefore i tried to help. I told my mum not to be angry with my sis anymore. Then my mummy say that she will forgive her if she say sorry. Then i slept for awhile. Cause i had a stomach cramp. Cause of my menses. Pain like shit. Then i was called a bitch by my sis and saying i never help her. I dont know lah. Then i went out with my uncle and auntie. We went to Esplanade to look at the fireworks. We had fun. Giggling. Then went to eat at Sembawang Shopping Centre. Then we went home. Oh ya. HAPPY BELATED 40th BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!


Wednesday: Did alot of housework. Stayed at home the whole day to study. Then Abdul came. To study with my sis. Yups i think that is about what i did.



Well next two weeks is my common test. I got to start studying. At least a subject. Stress. But i want to so well. So ya i will sacrifice. Well i got to go to the doctor. Till next time i blog.


GoOdbYe!



Love,
pRinceSs Lala