Well long time did not update. I am glad people are reading my post. Ok. On last Friday i watch a performance. Saint Andrews Junior Collage. It was super uber nice. I was amazed how the performance will look nice if we danced together. Haha. Well it was at Kallang Theater. That was when i did my SYF. I wonder how we looked on stage that time. I think we were not together. Gosh. Forget about it. We got Bronze and i am happy enough. Stop about Friday.Oh ya i love this crazy people Kenzi, Pelyn, Diyanah, Sulaztry, Natasha, Joan, Jolene, Jazli, Kristine, Joyce,Samantha Natasha, Meow Keng, Yvonne. Haha. I practically love the whole modern dance cause i named all those who were there. Haha. It was a crazy day.
On Saturday and Sunday well just do the normal things with my parents. On Sunday i went to the gym and swimming. So damn tired. Then at night my sis fought with Abang Nazlie. She was so sad. Then i felt her sadness again. It has happen the second time. What to do i am her sister. Then i put her to sleep make sure that she sleeps first. Then i tried to sleep i could not. It was cause my chest hurt. I rub it so hard till the next day it was swollen.
Yesterday was the most painful day. I had PE. It was fun. Ok. But someone scratch me. Now my hand got mark. Then after that i had Modern Dance. It was damn tiring. We stretched till we cannot stretch. We have to do split for the end of this year. So to the modern dance people. MODERN DANCE PEOPLE DONT GIVE UP. DONT QUIT CAUSE IT IS DIFFICULT. AFTER YOU HAVE DONE THE SPLIT IT WILL GET BETTER. IT IS THE BEST FOR US. SO TAKE CARE AND JIA YOU!!! CAUSE WE ARE THE BEST!! LOVE YOU GUYS. Ok. Enough about modern dance. Then i had outside dance. Sorry guys i was late. Well i finished late. At 8.30. Then i reached home at 9. My mummy was angry with me. So was my dad. Haiz there is alot more for me to write well forget it. Dont want to write no more. Then i went home did my homework and went to sleep. Oh ya, before i did all that i bath. Cause i reek of my smelly sweat.
Today i went to school late. Cause my car tire was punctured. Damn it. I had to borrow my other neighbour's cars. Ya so went to school as normal. Finished then went home. Then called my dad to explain my dance. He let me go. Provided i finsh early that is all.Today i finshed late again. I finished at 7:12 Theyhad to try to finish the dance. So now i am sitting here. Just feeling shit. I have to go and do my homework now. So goodbye for now.
Aqilah Oreth
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Yesterday night.
Yesterday night i felt so lost. I felt that i did not know myself. I was watching tv till 10. Then my mum came home. Did not expect her to come back so early man. Well then i went to greet her then i went to my room. I had not finished my homework. I had to finish it that night. So i cried. Then i could not even call him at night. Cause my stupid brother said that i 'always' call him and he 'always' come here. But it is not true. I have not seen him like for nearly 1 week. I have not called him. Maybe for 5 minutes yes. So my mum believed him and brought the telephone in. She dont trust me no more. I was heartbroken. No one could feel what i was feeling. I cried almost the whole night. No one knew. I messaged him. There was a few vulgarities. I was angry with my brother then. I was so stressed. I am so stressed. I dont know what to do anymore. I have been sleeping late this few days. I have been crying in my sleep. I may look happy in school but behind the smile, my heart was not really mended. Haiz. Now he calls me but i reject him cause he did not reply my messages yesterday. I dont know what to do anymore.
Amelea and all the 3/8 girls are going to Karimun tomorrow. I am so going to be lonely. Haiz. I am so sad now. I dont know what to say already. But all the 3/8 students. Good luck there. Take care. I cant wait to see you guys next monday. I wont forget you and i hope you wont forget me.
That's all for now. Bye.
Aqilah Oreth :'(
Amelea and all the 3/8 girls are going to Karimun tomorrow. I am so going to be lonely. Haiz. I am so sad now. I dont know what to say already. But all the 3/8 students. Good luck there. Take care. I cant wait to see you guys next monday. I wont forget you and i hope you wont forget me.
That's all for now. Bye.
Aqilah Oreth :'(
Monday, July 18, 2005
- Today
Today was such a long and stressful day. Haiz. I dont know what the hell i am doing also. Haiz.
I dont want to make it long ar. Dont want to go into details. Whatever it is i am so tired like shit. I hurt both my knee. It hurts really bad and i need to finish my homework now!!!
So goodbye and sorry it is a short entry.
Aqilah Oreth
I dont want to make it long ar. Dont want to go into details. Whatever it is i am so tired like shit. I hurt both my knee. It hurts really bad and i need to finish my homework now!!!
So goodbye and sorry it is a short entry.
Aqilah Oreth
Sunday, July 17, 2005
- dots
Well yesterday was so.. I dont know how to describe. Went to alot of places ya. To shop and eat and walk around. Reached home around 9. Then something sad happen. Dont want to go into details but a short summary is that my sis got a scolding from my dad cause of my irritating brother. Damn him. When my sis got the scolding i felt the cold stab that she was feeling. I knew she was hurt. I cried. I dont know why. But i just cried. I could not bear to see my sis get scolding and there was alot of stuffs that made her cry even more. Haiz. But whatever it is i told my sis not to give up. She can do it. She can prove to my dad that she can study. I will help her when she needs me.
Well today i went out. My malay grandma came over. She told us about my cousins. They really dont treasure what they have. Stay here they take advantage of the maid and dont even respect us. Stay over at my grandma house also they take advantage of her. Haiz. Dont know what is going to happen to them. Dont need to think too much about them. Make me headache only. Whatever it is they are still my cousins.
We drop my grandma home then we went to compass point. There we ate at Sakura. I and my sis bought this shining silver and black some sort of belt there. Then we left compass point and went to Bras Basah. I finally got my malay workbook. Gosh i nearly search the whole world and i finally got it. Well now i am home and i am going swimming later. I need to exercise more. So i wont get sick. Well something about me and him. I dont really know what is happening to us. So what the hell.
Now i am home alone. Sis went for piano lessons. My mum and dad and my moronic bro went to the doctor to take medicine. I am so lonely and scared now.
Aqilah Oreth
Well today i went out. My malay grandma came over. She told us about my cousins. They really dont treasure what they have. Stay here they take advantage of the maid and dont even respect us. Stay over at my grandma house also they take advantage of her. Haiz. Dont know what is going to happen to them. Dont need to think too much about them. Make me headache only. Whatever it is they are still my cousins.
We drop my grandma home then we went to compass point. There we ate at Sakura. I and my sis bought this shining silver and black some sort of belt there. Then we left compass point and went to Bras Basah. I finally got my malay workbook. Gosh i nearly search the whole world and i finally got it. Well now i am home and i am going swimming later. I need to exercise more. So i wont get sick. Well something about me and him. I dont really know what is happening to us. So what the hell.
Now i am home alone. Sis went for piano lessons. My mum and dad and my moronic bro went to the doctor to take medicine. I am so lonely and scared now.
Aqilah Oreth
Friday, July 15, 2005
- Post
Well this is my fourth post for today.
What i am feeling now does anybody cares? Haiz.I feel so stupid.I am not angry with him.Just abit maybe.It is because when he was talking to me and i did not reply cause i dont know what to say then he say you go play your computer ar.I know where my piorities lies.He is more important then my computer.So i just put down the phone.I switch off my handphone cause i cant take it no more.All his nonsense i am putting up with.I dont mind.For him anything is possible.
His so called god sister when she messages i know she care about Abdul.But she must know what i am feeling.I am not saying she is mean or anything.But really i know where my piorities lies..When it comes to family and boyfriend i would go with my family cause my family is everything to me. I know i am not a good girlfriend.I am nonsense.Haiz.
Why is my life so complicated.My irritating brother is crying for no reason.Shit lah he.Make me headache.Haiz. I dont know what to do anymore. I need my sister. I am so sick i feel like killing myself. But everyone knows that i wont. Haiz. He wont read this post. Cause he never go online also. Shit lah. Dont know who will read this post also.
Aqilah Oreth :'(
What i am feeling now does anybody cares? Haiz.I feel so stupid.I am not angry with him.Just abit maybe.It is because when he was talking to me and i did not reply cause i dont know what to say then he say you go play your computer ar.I know where my piorities lies.He is more important then my computer.So i just put down the phone.I switch off my handphone cause i cant take it no more.All his nonsense i am putting up with.I dont mind.For him anything is possible.
His so called god sister when she messages i know she care about Abdul.But she must know what i am feeling.I am not saying she is mean or anything.But really i know where my piorities lies..When it comes to family and boyfriend i would go with my family cause my family is everything to me. I know i am not a good girlfriend.I am nonsense.Haiz.
Why is my life so complicated.My irritating brother is crying for no reason.Shit lah he.Make me headache.Haiz. I dont know what to do anymore. I need my sister. I am so sick i feel like killing myself. But everyone knows that i wont. Haiz. He wont read this post. Cause he never go online also. Shit lah. Dont know who will read this post also.
Aqilah Oreth :'(
Kak Linda's Wedding Photos!
The 3 kendarat or something like that..
The only me..
The 3 Pretty girls
Nana & Lala
Me and Bik Siti
Isaac and me in the morning of the wedding
After the hard day of work, we changed then we take picture.Whee!
Trip to America and Canada!
Me looking sad thinking about everyone in Singapore. Was at Miami international airpot.
Me together with auntie olga and uncle melgan at a Shopping Centre
Big happy Family
The caravan we used to go to Canada
Closer look on the caravan
My long lost auntie together with me and isaac and ryan and randall.
Finally the whole family were reunited :)
The cutie Randall Oreth
Me and Isaac at the Niagara Falls.
Behind the falls
Niagara Falls
Niagara Falls
Me and Isaac at Toronto Science Centre.
At Canada,Toronto with everyone.
Auntie,Isaac me and Nenek
At disneyworld!
Me at Disneyworld. Magic Kingdom
Daddy, me and Isaac at toontown..
The 3 kendarat or something like that..
The only me..
The 3 Pretty girls
Nana & Lala
Me and Bik Siti
Isaac and me in the morning of the wedding
After the hard day of work, we changed then we take picture.Whee!
Trip to America and Canada!
Me looking sad thinking about everyone in Singapore. Was at Miami international airpot.
Me together with auntie olga and uncle melgan at a Shopping Centre
Big happy Family
The caravan we used to go to Canada
Closer look on the caravan
My long lost auntie together with me and isaac and ryan and randall.
Finally the whole family were reunited :)
The cutie Randall Oreth
Me and Isaac at the Niagara Falls.
Behind the falls
Niagara Falls
Niagara Falls
Me and Isaac at Toronto Science Centre.
At Canada,Toronto with everyone.
Auntie,Isaac me and Nenek
At disneyworld!
Me at Disneyworld. Magic Kingdom
Daddy, me and Isaac at toontown..
- What dreams are made of by Hilary Duff
"What Dreams Are Made Of"
Hey now
Hey now
Hey now
Hey now
Have you ever seen such a beautiful night?
I could almost kiss the stars for shining so bright
When i see you smiling, I go
oh oh oh
i would never want to miss this
cuz in my heart i know what this is
[Chorus]
Hey now
Hey now
This is what dreams are made of
Hey now
Hey now
This is what dreams are made of
I've got somewhere i belong
I've got somebody to love
This is what dreams are made of
(Hey now)
(Hey now)
Have you ever wondered what life is about?
You could search the world and never figure it out
you don't have to sail the oceans
no no no
happiness is no mystery it's here now it's you and me
[Chorus]
Open your eyes (This is what dreams are made of)
shout to the sky (This is what dreams are made of)
Then i see u smiling, I go
oh oh oh
Yesterday my life was duller
Now everything's technicolor
[Chorus]
(Hey now)
(Hey now)
Hey now
This is what dreams
This is what dreams are made of
Hey now
Hey now
This is what dreams are made of
I've got somewhere i belong
I've got somebody to love
This is what dreams are made of
(Hey now)
(Hey now)
Hey now
This is what dreams
This is what dreams are made of
Hey now
Hey now
Hey now
Hey now
Have you ever seen such a beautiful night?
I could almost kiss the stars for shining so bright
When i see you smiling, I go
oh oh oh
i would never want to miss this
cuz in my heart i know what this is
[Chorus]
Hey now
Hey now
This is what dreams are made of
Hey now
Hey now
This is what dreams are made of
I've got somewhere i belong
I've got somebody to love
This is what dreams are made of
(Hey now)
(Hey now)
Have you ever wondered what life is about?
You could search the world and never figure it out
you don't have to sail the oceans
no no no
happiness is no mystery it's here now it's you and me
[Chorus]
Open your eyes (This is what dreams are made of)
shout to the sky (This is what dreams are made of)
Then i see u smiling, I go
oh oh oh
Yesterday my life was duller
Now everything's technicolor
[Chorus]
(Hey now)
(Hey now)
Hey now
This is what dreams
This is what dreams are made of
Hey now
Hey now
This is what dreams are made of
I've got somewhere i belong
I've got somebody to love
This is what dreams are made of
(Hey now)
(Hey now)
Hey now
This is what dreams
This is what dreams are made of
Bored
Well i am sick again..Shit lah..Everytime sick..I was on mc yesterday and today..Haiz..I am so bored..Today suppose to have POA test and Social Studies test but now i missed it..Haiz..
Yesterday was our 8th month anniversary..He came over to my house cause my mum dont let me go out cause i was sick..So ya he stayed till 9 then he went home..He is feeling sad right now cause i cant go out with him today..He wanted to go out with me so badly..And i also want to go out with him..Haiz..He no mood..I know he angry with me..Why am i so stupid as to get sick..I am sick at a wrong time..
His god-sister i think messaged me in the morning..Everytime she message i will feel so hurt and i will cry deep inside my heart..Cause one of the message she sent is ' msg him lah. talk to him. he sad than you dont want to do anything. ' i felt so hurt that i feel like killing myself..How does she know whether i am doing anything or not..I would rather die then hurt him..No one knows me..Only my sis does..But she is now too busy..I cannot tell her anything..I dont want to make her sad..I have no one to turn to..I am so lonely..I need someone..His so called god sis is not helping but making me more guilty..I have never felt like this before..I know i am in the wrong..But if he is sad i am too..
I am so called you can say Daddy's pet..I am the one who is scared of defying my parents..I always get help from my sister..I want to go out with him also i so scared..It is not that i dont want to go out with him..But it is just that..Haiz..I dont know what to say already..No one knows what i am feeling now..I just want to cry..I dont know what to do anymore..I give up..
There is alot of questions in my head that needs answering..And i can only tell that it is really2 alot.. I dont know how to answer them..
Here i am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Cant deny it
Cant pretend
just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you wont get to see the tears i cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Lyrics from Kelly Clarkson, Behind these hazel eyes.Haiz.
Aqilah Oreth :'(
Yesterday was our 8th month anniversary..He came over to my house cause my mum dont let me go out cause i was sick..So ya he stayed till 9 then he went home..He is feeling sad right now cause i cant go out with him today..He wanted to go out with me so badly..And i also want to go out with him..Haiz..He no mood..I know he angry with me..Why am i so stupid as to get sick..I am sick at a wrong time..
His god-sister i think messaged me in the morning..Everytime she message i will feel so hurt and i will cry deep inside my heart..Cause one of the message she sent is ' msg him lah. talk to him. he sad than you dont want to do anything. ' i felt so hurt that i feel like killing myself..How does she know whether i am doing anything or not..I would rather die then hurt him..No one knows me..Only my sis does..But she is now too busy..I cannot tell her anything..I dont want to make her sad..I have no one to turn to..I am so lonely..I need someone..His so called god sis is not helping but making me more guilty..I have never felt like this before..I know i am in the wrong..But if he is sad i am too..
I am so called you can say Daddy's pet..I am the one who is scared of defying my parents..I always get help from my sister..I want to go out with him also i so scared..It is not that i dont want to go out with him..But it is just that..Haiz..I dont know what to say already..No one knows what i am feeling now..I just want to cry..I dont know what to do anymore..I give up..
There is alot of questions in my head that needs answering..And i can only tell that it is really2 alot.. I dont know how to answer them..
Here i am
Once again
I'm torn into pieces
Cant deny it
Cant pretend
just thought you were the one
Broken up deep inside
But you wont get to see the tears i cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Lyrics from Kelly Clarkson, Behind these hazel eyes.Haiz.
Aqilah Oreth :'(
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Fcuked up
Haiz today was just so bad i say..I am getting a fever..I think..I dont know whether i am quarreling with him but i am not angry with him..I love him too much to be angry with him..Really..I guess no one reads my blog except myself..Haiz..I dont know who to turn too..I dont know what to do anymore..I just want to break down and cry!!! I really2 dont know what to do anymore..
Got to go dont know do whatever shit i have to do
Aqilah Oreth :'(
Got to go dont know do whatever shit i have to do
Aqilah Oreth :'(
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Depressed!
Well today i never go school..Yup..That is why i am here blogging..I am going to the doctor later maybe..Have headache since like forever..Trying to find out why..But nothing comes in my mind..Haiz he is also not in school today..He was crying in the morning..Cause his dad beat him..I dont know ar..Then i message him no one replied..I was messaging to no one..Thinking about him is making me going crazy..I have sleepless nights..I will wake up at 3.30 in the morning..I dont know why..But it has been going on for days..Weird it is always around 3.30..Haiz..Well what the hell
I dont know what is going on with my life..I have been like always alone..I miss my sis..I miss him..They have their N' level so i cant do anything..Haiz..But i am really like super sad..Sometimes i feel like breaking down and cry my heart out..But every night i have been crying cause i miss him alot..Haiz..My sis has been stressed..But i will try to help her in any way i can..But first i must do something about my life..I wish my sis would not be so stressed up then at least i could still tell her my problems..Even my schoolmates i dont want to tell..Cause i cannot trust anyone now..Haiz.Everything has changed..
Lets see if this goes on forever..If it does i am really going to die..Haiz..Even school is difficult..Have tests for the next whole week...On top of worrying about my studies i have to worry about all the other things in the world..My life is in a mess..I need to work it out..
got to go..Cannot think of what to write already..Shit..
Depressed Aqilah Oreth.
I dont know what is going on with my life..I have been like always alone..I miss my sis..I miss him..They have their N' level so i cant do anything..Haiz..But i am really like super sad..Sometimes i feel like breaking down and cry my heart out..But every night i have been crying cause i miss him alot..Haiz..My sis has been stressed..But i will try to help her in any way i can..But first i must do something about my life..I wish my sis would not be so stressed up then at least i could still tell her my problems..Even my schoolmates i dont want to tell..Cause i cannot trust anyone now..Haiz.Everything has changed..
Lets see if this goes on forever..If it does i am really going to die..Haiz..Even school is difficult..Have tests for the next whole week...On top of worrying about my studies i have to worry about all the other things in the world..My life is in a mess..I need to work it out..
got to go..Cannot think of what to write already..Shit..
Depressed Aqilah Oreth.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
-bored
Ok so life is boring for me..Sis say i have been lazy lately..I hope i am not..So maybe starting from next week my days will be filled with activities..Be it jogging,swimming or studying..I must do something..One of the reasons is so i wont be so sad without him..I wont call him anymore..I dont want to disturb him with his studies and i want him to rest more..
Life has been so different..I feel like i am in a changed world..Even my friends have changed..I miss my old times..Now i am a lonely girl..I am like so bored..Even my sis dont have time for me no more..She has got her 'N level to worry about..Now is everybody is doing their own stuffs..Quite sad actually for me..
Today i went out..Went to take my grandma from the hospital..While i was there i thought of what would i do if i have to stay there alone..I would want to experience..Who would care for me? Many questions..Haha..Stupid me..Who wants to stay in a hospital? Then from there went to Suntec City and then Wisma Atria the Shing Siong..Alot of places huh in just one day..Damn bloody tired though..And worst of all i have my menses..Shit lah..And i had headache since like forever and i am coughing and sneezing..I am full of nonsense lah.. Now everybody is watching Kingdom Of Heaven..Stupid show if you ask me..I am not interested..So here i am..Blogging away..
Well that it is for now..My hands are getting numb..
Lots of hugs and Kisses
-Aqilah Oreth
Life has been so different..I feel like i am in a changed world..Even my friends have changed..I miss my old times..Now i am a lonely girl..I am like so bored..Even my sis dont have time for me no more..She has got her 'N level to worry about..Now is everybody is doing their own stuffs..Quite sad actually for me..
Today i went out..Went to take my grandma from the hospital..While i was there i thought of what would i do if i have to stay there alone..I would want to experience..Who would care for me? Many questions..Haha..Stupid me..Who wants to stay in a hospital? Then from there went to Suntec City and then Wisma Atria the Shing Siong..Alot of places huh in just one day..Damn bloody tired though..And worst of all i have my menses..Shit lah..And i had headache since like forever and i am coughing and sneezing..I am full of nonsense lah.. Now everybody is watching Kingdom Of Heaven..Stupid show if you ask me..I am not interested..So here i am..Blogging away..
Well that it is for now..My hands are getting numb..
Lots of hugs and Kisses
-Aqilah Oreth
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