haiz.

Well life defintiely sucks.

its been a long time i update this blog.

No time perhaps.

Ok now is the chinese new year period.

First of all Happy Chinese New Year to all the chinese.

Had my reunion dinner at Singa Inn on Saturday.

Spent about 170 sing dollars.

Grandma paid for that.

My 'nyai' was also at the reunion dinner.

blah.blah.blah.

Before that we did alot of things.

we went to geyland.

i and my sis bought 'tudung'

ate there.

left and went to downtowneast shalet.

ate some more.

then went for reunion dinner.

fat already.

yesterday did not go visiting.

daddy was at work on duty.

wasted.

if not i can collect more 'hangbao'.

not many chinese relative.

wait have alot.

just dont know them that is all.

i went out with my uncle and auntie.

then we went over to their house.

and my brother slept there.

and i went home

quarreled with my mummy.

till now.

haiz.

whatev!

i slept outside last night.

freezing half to death.

barely even sleep.

cause she lock my room door.

lame.

i wanted to run away from home.

my sis told me not to.

wake up today.

feeling sad.

did not eat.

till i went over to my uncle house for chinese new year.

ate then leave.

later going out to meet my dad.

valentine's day coming.

my competition coming.

test coming.

all coming.

haiz.

stress.

*boys dont ask me out for valentine's day.

cause i wont go out.

sorry.

well i guess that is all.

toodles for now.

sorry if this is a boring post.

lala*

hmm..

oh this is so shit.

i just type a long entry and all just dissapear like whoosh!

argh!

ok not much is happening to my life.

i think i am ignoring boys.

i know it is mean.

but what the hell.

maybe i am a meanie.

but no one knows what i am feeling.

well yesterday something happened.

which made my heart pause for a moment.

then i could hardly breathe after that and i could not sleep.

*yawns*

am tired now.

today had dance.

mr adam was like super angry.

he banged the radio.

my heart paused.

like what the hell.

ok we were wrong we admit.

and we have only 7 hours left to the competiton.

this is total suicide.

we only finish tell like 1 mins and 40 seconds and we still have around 2 mins to go.

the anxiety is like to the limit!

whoa stop aqilah.

you are overreacting.

haiz.

oh wells.

anyway we are going to perform on 11th February.

At Ngee Ann City.

i dont know what time.

around 12.50 like that.

we are like the 3rd group to perform.

so not lucky.

haiz.

friends have been omigosh.

and darling breast tasha is sick.

and i am like so bored in school without her.

get well soon tasha breast!!

ok lah.

i am tired.

very.

i want to go get an early rest.

and a goodnight sleep.

toodles everyone!

kisses!

lala*

argh!

everything i do wrong!

argh!

i am not trying to find pity here ok.

i am just doing the right thing.

it is time i say everything out.

instead of keeping it in me.

is calling you a weirdo for fun wrong?

then must scold back fucker.

even if it is not play2 must scold fucker ar!

telling mummy you scared of me and isaac.

more like the other way round.

you stress.

i not stress ar.

last year.

you n'level i took care of most of the housework.

i got complain or not?

failed my common test cause i barely made time to study.

yet did i blame you?

no!

all i want you to do now is share the load?

also cannot.

i have to do the same thing.

so this year you will pass o'level then i will fail lah.

i dont know lah.

life is never perfect.

i know.

i would never disregard you as a sister.

but you.

your friend is so much better then me.

they have stick with you through thick and thin.

i have NEVER done anything to help you.

ya i failed as a sister.

i am just nobody ok.

i dont dislike ite student ok!

get it!

just go away from my life ok!!!

just go!

dont come back!!

i hate everyone!

:(

he is going ite.

well it is confirmed.

he is going to ite.

haiz.

last night i talked to him,

i found out.

i cried.

from like 11 till 1.

i slept

woke up at 5.

cant sleep till i wake up to go to school lah.

that is all.

hmm yeah.

ok i am so sad.

but in school,

i try not to be sad.

so no questions will be asked.

yup2.

had fun today at modern dance.

it is not so tough.

i was lifted to the air.

felt like an angel flying.

then when shaun carried me i feel directly on his shoulders.

and the worse thing was that my throat hit his shoulders.

so ya.

my throat hurts.

tasha was so funny.

ok cant type it out.

modern dance secret

sshh!

and mr adam made me keep his thing.

like what the hell.

all me.

its ok lah.

i can cope.

ok stop here.

one person to wish now.

HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY DIYANAH!!!!

<3>

hehe.

kisses!

toodles

lala*

modern dance

so the new sec 1 batch has arrived to modern dance.

and boy they have got a long way to go.

some were too shy.

some thinks that her fringe is so important.

stupid shit.

ok hope they well be good like the seniors.

duh.

the seniors are not bad ok.

we can really dance.

we grew up to be closer during modern dance.

we always have fun together no matter how tiring it is.

yup2.

today i had to dance with my nose leaking.

stupid nose.

i was like teaching sec 1.

leading warm up

i am dead beat man.

oh ya mr adam said that if all the girls hair is not tied properly.

i am going to get it.

ya being the president of modern dance.

omigosh.

i was like what the hell.

ok enough about dance.

studies have been well as always stressful.

well it is n'level year.

i passed my maths test.

horray.

having poa test and chemistry test next.

haiz.

ok yesterday i was angry with two guys.

one was assuming.

the other was i dont know what to say.

well i was sad.

i cried.

that is why my sickness got worse.

haiz.

shit right.

well what the hell.

maybe that is part and parcel of life.

i dont know.

well cant take it.

too much.

i am sick like hello.

well only my family cares.

and my tasha lah.

and a few others.

like nasriah all.

thanks.

ok my hands are tired.

i wont be updating always.

i want to study.

thats all i want to focus on.

my dance and study.

danceworks is on 11 feb.

that is the preliminarys.

finals is in march.

yup.

oh ya before i forget.

happy 14th months to kak yana and abang nazlie!

love you both forever.

kisses!

toodles everyone.

lala*

update

well school has been abit tough.

yesterday was hari raya haji.

i collected 25 dollars.

that is alot ok.

ok back to me.

i have loads of homework.

tomorrow go maths test.

i came back at 7.30

and i am super tired.

haven done my homework.

and i am tired.

oh wells i am now juggling my studies and dance.

tired.

and now to make it worse i have breathing difficulties.

so ass.

ok lah.

got to study.

toodles!

lala*

first day of school

today is the first day of school.

my class is on level 4.

i am stuck with 4/7.

same students.

but this year the whole of 4/7 is going to graduate to sec 5.

hopefully yeah.

my form teacher is still mdm thila.

oh wells.

today was boring.

did not do anything.

actually i thought about him.

being in school.

i always looking for him and smile when i meet him.

this cant happen anymore.

i am all alone.

seeing his class reminds me of him.

:'(

oh god why must this happen.

i miss him holding my hand when we go home.

i miss leaning on his shoulders.

i cant go on anymore.

bye.

hello 2006

goodbye 2005!

hello 2006!

woohoo!

hooray!

a new year.

a new adventure.

a new life.

a new beginning.

everything will be new.

but memories of 2005 shall not be forgotten.

especially the special ones.

thanks to all the friends and people who made 2005 happen.

hmm.

a great 2005 huh.

2006 will be better.

after n's.

cant wait.

let me see what i feel now.

i just feel treasured that i have people whom i love most.

i so miss friends.

not really.

haha

i only miss tasha.

whee!

i am just happy.

carrying on with my life.

being stupid everyday and irritating my sis.

not crying anymore.

unless i really need to!

ha!

but tasha wont let me cry.

woohoo!

ok lah.

i am going out.

so i have to get ready.

today is 1st of January of 2006!

haha.

toodles.

lala*