hate my life now.

i dont know what to do no more

day by day i would just let day passed.

what happen yesterday people may ask.

well i have lost my friends.

yesterday was a pretty good day you can say.

till i wanted to go home.

that was when it started.

i thought they waited for me.

but no.

so i was a moron trying to call them and no one picked up their phone.

so i went back with my sis.

took the taxi and cried in the taxi.

kak yana was of course angry.

and so is abang nazlie.

i am not trying to save my name or whatever.

then i was ok already

at home called nurul.

and i found out they were having a party.

A PARTY WITHOUT ME?

and to claim i and tasha's good friend.

i cried on the spot.

feeling like an idiot.

i went to dance.

walked.

and think about it.

i was so stupid.

i dont know.

i felt so lost.

i wanted someone to talked to me.

then after modern dance.

i talked to syadariena.

she cried.

i am sorry iena.

i went back home.

i called nurul.

talked to her

i cried.

she cried

sorry.

today i had a pretty bad headache in school

it feel like hell.

and tasha sent me a letter.

she said the birthday was a surprise.

so i guess it is not her fault.

i dont know.

i know i dont belong to 4/8

i belong to 4/7

i will always be the last to go out of class.

in the end no one will go back with me.

i dont know what to do already.

nisa:

you can say whatever you want to say.

i dont give a damn about you cause i know you never did liked me.

you can tell people that i was controlling tasha.

like what did i do?

and i dont like you scolding Iena.

she is soft hearted already and you think you can step all over her?

well think again.

Look at yourself.

girl you need an attitude adjustment and somebody is going to help you with that.

tasha:

i was just disappointed that i did not know about the party.

i feel that we have drifted apart.

we never talk no more.

we never go out no more.

i was not even there for your party.

i would let my mother hate me then miss your party.

at least if my presence was there awhile it would be great.

but i was not even known of that party.

well i dont know what to say.

amelea:

seriously dont know what to say about you.

Iena and Nurul:

thanks for tallking to me.

and sorry to make you guys cry.

am very sorry.

well i dont know the full storey about the party.

but from reading Kaiyisah blog.

i knew that they had fun.

that was my only wish for tasha.

and it was granted.

thanks god.

i cried lah.

yes.

as i am typing now also i am crying.

the feeling of losing a friend is never good.

this is quite a long entry and i am tired.

thanks to all the people who tried to help me.

now i will just let nature take it's course.

toodles everyone.

take care

lala*

fuck everyone lah

OK LAH EVERTHING IS MY FAULT HAPPY!!??
ALL OF YOU ARE CORRECT!
I AM THE WRONG ONE!
JUST GET AWAY LAH!

mock exam

my head is now filled with equations and chemistry.

like wth!

i have to remember PHYSICS now.

like PHYSICS not CHEMISTRY!!

actually PHYSICS means DEATH.

cause my marks physics marks are like pulling my combined science down.

shitness.

ok then.

tasha's birthday is like coming.

and dance is like also coming.

like how exciting.

hehe.

i am so excited.

tasha!

i love you!

and i miss you.

haha.

this crazy gal.

we are best of friends.

althought we are not together.

haha.

FRIENDS FOREVER!

ok i am like how lame.

Nurul you breast.

i also miss you ok.

like hell.

then call you at home you not at home.

like how lame.

haha.

ok i love you alot ok kaiyisah!

ok i am going to try study physics now.

i hope i get it.

toodles everyone.

<3!

all the best to mua!

kisses!

lala*

results!

hey!

results are out!

guess what.

i got 4th in class!

with 69%

like woohoo!

farhannah beat me like 1 % only.

haiyoh me.

hehe

i am happy with this results anyway.

but must do better.

yup!

tomorrow got chemistry mock test!

like what the hell.

i am so stressed up.

hopefully again i am saying this.

i wont forget what i studied.

oh god please help me!

amin!

hehe

ok first time.

i am happy lah today.

but i miss my breast tasha friend.

she is always with other people.

tasha!

i want you!

hehe.

ok lame.

i was chatting with shaiful and nazirul!

they rocks my socks.

haha.

but they meanie.

they like to bully.

haha.

but never mind.

forgive you guys.

ok now got to study after using the com.

no wait.

i want to bathe first.

i smell..

eww...

hehe.

toodles everyone!

lala*

sick

damn.

just said that i have not been getting bronchitis.

now i got it.

not in school now.

wonder what happened in school.

hmmm...

lalalala.

lucky this bronchitis is a light one.

not a severe one.

ok am going to study now.

tasha's birthday:6 more days!

update.

first of all i and Syadariena would like to wish our darling Shaiful

HAPPY BELATED 16TH BIRTHDAY SHAIFUL RIDZUAN!!

sorry your birthday yesterday and now then i wish.

haha.

but i sent you message right.

ok well how was my hols.

it was boring.

like shit.

half the time i am worrying about mock test that is coming.

like how lame.

imagine the pressure.

anyways i bought a roxy pencil box.

a black and purple one.

not i bought it.

my dad did.

haha.

how sweet

(:

ok mummy and us are back together.

like i also dont know why.

it is because of daddy that we are back together.

hmm..

i am having a lame headache now.

actually i am having headaches everyday.

my migrane is acting up again.

i think it is due to n'level

ok lah.

i dont know what to write.

i am like so bored.

but later got DIA

and Dwi is how pretty.

tralalala.

toodles!

kisses!

<3!

lala*

lalalalalala.

hmm...

what shall i talk about today?

oh yesh.

go read tasha blog.

i cried while reading her blog.

she is like how sweet.

she wrote about me.

well tasha.

i love you too!

<3!

i am super glad to have a friend like you too..

am glad and happy that you are turning 16.

all the best ok

(:

ok enough about that.

yesterday went out with hui shan, sandral, kak yana and abang nazlie.

it was fun.

we went to marina square and to esplanade.

i dont know why but i am sweet tooth now.

i just want to nible on chocolates and sweets..

hmm...

yummy chocolate...

ok then after that i went home.

and guess what.

kak yana lost her wallet.

like wth.

she cried.

then mastura helped me to get numbers to call.

Thanks Mas (:

then called but no use.

wallet is nowhere to be found.

haiz.

today had library service.

then went home.

ate instant noodles.

oh ya lah.

today never eat alot.

no mood.

the instant noodles also never finish.

hmm..

after eat went to religious class.

just came back.

lalala.

mummy is giving me and sis a cold shoulder.

like how lame.

and it is not even our fault.

she did not even give me money to go out.

i went out with 10 dollars.

all digged out from my piggy bank.

now all empty.

lets see how long the war can last.

i am not going to give in.

a few more days till school reopens.

and i never even start studying my physics and chemistry mock test.

die

:(

ok lah.

that's all for now.

kisses!

lala*

Photos

Click to enlarge (:

Update

Sorry blog readers if i have not been updating.

Have no time pratically.

Too busy doing stuffs..

Ok lets see.

What can we talk about.

Oh ya.

I just came back from the library.

Had to do CIP there.

For 30 hours.

Just for NYAA.

Like how tiring.

Shelving books.

My hand can breaks.

My eyes can turn blind seeing all the number.

But it was ok overall..

Hmm..

Last Saturday went to Faezah birthday party..

It was great.

I took lots of pictures.

Will update.

Yesterday went out.

To alot of places.

I also dont know where.

Sorry.

This whole week is booked for me.

So those who wants to go out with me.

Sorry cannot already.

Love?

now is not the time to think about it.

am still young.

(:

I have found someone who likes dancing also.

Haha.

Kak Maria.

She was in danceworks.

Like coolness.

haha

<3!

Ok am having a headache now.

Dont know what to type.

Haha.

I miss my friends.

(:

take care.

Happy holidays!

Kisses.

<3.

lala*

[p.s. i find this post boring. dont you think so? sorry if you do. haha (:]

wake up to reality please!

Argh!

I despise people who pretending to be somebody they are not.

I was so glad to have met 'Tiara' or whatever her name is.

I was glad as she was blonde.

I never had a blonde friend.

Yet now 'tiara' is not who i thought she was.

She was lying to my face all this while.

Come on lah.

How would i feel?

and sharen the sister followed with the plan.

like wtf!

now she has shown her true colours

and like what?

i have to forgive and forget?

Why cant people just accept who they were born to be.

instead of playing pretend.

like wtf?

what you gain?

fame?

more like lame.

i dont hate anybody.

no matter a guy, girl,

blonde, not blonde.

clever or not.

it depends on your own personality.

i like everyone.

playing pretend with me makes me despise you.

wake up to reality.

not in dreamland where you can play pretend and lie to everyone.

forget it.

dont want to talk about it.

today was like i dont know how to describe.

tests were like almost every lesson.

i nearly went beserk.

and this happens.

i am so tired.

i think i am getting my bronchitis again.

i am coughing like one kind like that.

but i cant possibly get sick at this time.

haiz.

tomorrow is abang nazlie birthday and if i cant go online tomorrow i would want to wish him a happy advanced birthday.

hugs and kisses from me.

and ya.

mastura.

am glad you found someone you love.

hope you and him stay long together cause i know he is a great guy.

so to the both of you.

all the best ok!

am tired of typing now.

gtg study

toodles!

lala*

hmmm..

life like totally sucks to me.

I am suppose to be like sleeping now but my grandma need don't know what thing.

Like argh!

I need to go school!

I want to sleep.

*yawns*

My darling Mastura has found someone special.

Wooo..

That was fast.

Hmm..

I am still lonely

:(

Never mind.

forget boys.

anyways i said sorry to all the guys i rejected.

i dont know if it was the right thing to do.

this whole week was full of tests and homework.

although we had no common test,

i felt like i am having my common test.

i did well for my english compo.

yeah for me

for the first time.

i got 21/30.

Today had english oral.

and i sucked.

how about my malay.

so going to die.

tomorrow have social studies and maths test.

haiz.

and i am not in bed.

i want to sleep.

oh ya today i went back with iena.

it was a long time since we went back home just the two of us.

romantic huh.

hehe.

we talked.

and my throat is like pain now.

lame.

ok i got what i needed.

so i sign off now.

take care everyone.

all the best for common test.

toodles!

kisses!

lala*