haiz.

Well life defintiely sucks.

its been a long time i update this blog.

No time perhaps.

Ok now is the chinese new year period.

First of all Happy Chinese New Year to all the chinese.

Had my reunion dinner at Singa Inn on Saturday.

Spent about 170 sing dollars.

Grandma paid for that.

My 'nyai' was also at the reunion dinner.

blah.blah.blah.

Before that we did alot of things.

we went to geyland.

i and my sis bought 'tudung'

ate there.

left and went to downtowneast shalet.

ate some more.

then went for reunion dinner.

fat already.

yesterday did not go visiting.

daddy was at work on duty.

wasted.

if not i can collect more 'hangbao'.

not many chinese relative.

wait have alot.

just dont know them that is all.

i went out with my uncle and auntie.

then we went over to their house.

and my brother slept there.

and i went home

quarreled with my mummy.

till now.

haiz.

whatev!

i slept outside last night.

freezing half to death.

barely even sleep.

cause she lock my room door.

lame.

i wanted to run away from home.

my sis told me not to.

wake up today.

feeling sad.

did not eat.

till i went over to my uncle house for chinese new year.

ate then leave.

later going out to meet my dad.

valentine's day coming.

my competition coming.

test coming.

all coming.

haiz.

stress.

*boys dont ask me out for valentine's day.

cause i wont go out.

sorry.

well i guess that is all.

toodles for now.

sorry if this is a boring post.

lala*

hmm..

oh this is so shit.

i just type a long entry and all just dissapear like whoosh!

argh!

ok not much is happening to my life.

i think i am ignoring boys.

i know it is mean.

but what the hell.

maybe i am a meanie.

but no one knows what i am feeling.

well yesterday something happened.

which made my heart pause for a moment.

then i could hardly breathe after that and i could not sleep.

*yawns*

am tired now.

today had dance.

mr adam was like super angry.

he banged the radio.

my heart paused.

like what the hell.

ok we were wrong we admit.

and we have only 7 hours left to the competiton.

this is total suicide.

we only finish tell like 1 mins and 40 seconds and we still have around 2 mins to go.

the anxiety is like to the limit!

whoa stop aqilah.

you are overreacting.

haiz.

oh wells.

anyway we are going to perform on 11th February.

At Ngee Ann City.

i dont know what time.

around 12.50 like that.

we are like the 3rd group to perform.

so not lucky.

haiz.

friends have been omigosh.

and darling breast tasha is sick.

and i am like so bored in school without her.

get well soon tasha breast!!

ok lah.

i am tired.

very.

i want to go get an early rest.

and a goodnight sleep.

toodles everyone!

kisses!

lala*

argh!

everything i do wrong!

argh!

i am not trying to find pity here ok.

i am just doing the right thing.

it is time i say everything out.

instead of keeping it in me.

is calling you a weirdo for fun wrong?

then must scold back fucker.

even if it is not play2 must scold fucker ar!

telling mummy you scared of me and isaac.

more like the other way round.

you stress.

i not stress ar.

last year.

you n'level i took care of most of the housework.

i got complain or not?

failed my common test cause i barely made time to study.

yet did i blame you?

no!

all i want you to do now is share the load?

also cannot.

i have to do the same thing.

so this year you will pass o'level then i will fail lah.

i dont know lah.

life is never perfect.

i know.

i would never disregard you as a sister.

but you.

your friend is so much better then me.

they have stick with you through thick and thin.

i have NEVER done anything to help you.

ya i failed as a sister.

i am just nobody ok.

i dont dislike ite student ok!

get it!

just go away from my life ok!!!

just go!

dont come back!!

i hate everyone!

:(

he is going ite.

well it is confirmed.

he is going to ite.

haiz.

last night i talked to him,

i found out.

i cried.

from like 11 till 1.

i slept

woke up at 5.

cant sleep till i wake up to go to school lah.

that is all.

hmm yeah.

ok i am so sad.

but in school,

i try not to be sad.

so no questions will be asked.

yup2.

had fun today at modern dance.

it is not so tough.

i was lifted to the air.

felt like an angel flying.

then when shaun carried me i feel directly on his shoulders.

and the worse thing was that my throat hit his shoulders.

so ya.

my throat hurts.

tasha was so funny.

ok cant type it out.

modern dance secret

sshh!

and mr adam made me keep his thing.

like what the hell.

all me.

its ok lah.

i can cope.

ok stop here.

one person to wish now.

HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY DIYANAH!!!!

<3>

hehe.

kisses!

toodles

lala*

modern dance

so the new sec 1 batch has arrived to modern dance.

and boy they have got a long way to go.

some were too shy.

some thinks that her fringe is so important.

stupid shit.

ok hope they well be good like the seniors.

duh.

the seniors are not bad ok.

we can really dance.

we grew up to be closer during modern dance.

we always have fun together no matter how tiring it is.

yup2.

today i had to dance with my nose leaking.

stupid nose.

i was like teaching sec 1.

leading warm up

i am dead beat man.

oh ya mr adam said that if all the girls hair is not tied properly.

i am going to get it.

ya being the president of modern dance.

omigosh.

i was like what the hell.

ok enough about dance.

studies have been well as always stressful.

well it is n'level year.

i passed my maths test.

horray.

having poa test and chemistry test next.

haiz.

ok yesterday i was angry with two guys.

one was assuming.

the other was i dont know what to say.

well i was sad.

i cried.

that is why my sickness got worse.

haiz.

shit right.

well what the hell.

maybe that is part and parcel of life.

i dont know.

well cant take it.

too much.

i am sick like hello.

well only my family cares.

and my tasha lah.

and a few others.

like nasriah all.

thanks.

ok my hands are tired.

i wont be updating always.

i want to study.

thats all i want to focus on.

my dance and study.

danceworks is on 11 feb.

that is the preliminarys.

finals is in march.

yup.

oh ya before i forget.

happy 14th months to kak yana and abang nazlie!

love you both forever.

kisses!

toodles everyone.

lala*

update

well school has been abit tough.

yesterday was hari raya haji.

i collected 25 dollars.

that is alot ok.

ok back to me.

i have loads of homework.

tomorrow go maths test.

i came back at 7.30

and i am super tired.

haven done my homework.

and i am tired.

oh wells i am now juggling my studies and dance.

tired.

and now to make it worse i have breathing difficulties.

so ass.

ok lah.

got to study.

toodles!

lala*

first day of school

today is the first day of school.

my class is on level 4.

i am stuck with 4/7.

same students.

but this year the whole of 4/7 is going to graduate to sec 5.

hopefully yeah.

my form teacher is still mdm thila.

oh wells.

today was boring.

did not do anything.

actually i thought about him.

being in school.

i always looking for him and smile when i meet him.

this cant happen anymore.

i am all alone.

seeing his class reminds me of him.

:'(

oh god why must this happen.

i miss him holding my hand when we go home.

i miss leaning on his shoulders.

i cant go on anymore.

bye.

hello 2006

goodbye 2005!

hello 2006!

woohoo!

hooray!

a new year.

a new adventure.

a new life.

a new beginning.

everything will be new.

but memories of 2005 shall not be forgotten.

especially the special ones.

thanks to all the friends and people who made 2005 happen.

hmm.

a great 2005 huh.

2006 will be better.

after n's.

cant wait.

let me see what i feel now.

i just feel treasured that i have people whom i love most.

i so miss friends.

not really.

haha

i only miss tasha.

whee!

i am just happy.

carrying on with my life.

being stupid everyday and irritating my sis.

not crying anymore.

unless i really need to!

ha!

but tasha wont let me cry.

woohoo!

ok lah.

i am going out.

so i have to get ready.

today is 1st of January of 2006!

haha.

toodles.

lala*

merry x'mas

hey wells so it is christmas day today.

different from last year

this year is more quiet

my cousins are out of town.

and i am like so totally bored.

kinda have a headache now

so shit.

its ok.

ella,fiq and my neighbours are here now.

havoc the house.

haha.

well they make me happy and that is good.

just now i did not went swimming.

but i went down

then all of them pulled me to the pool

kak yana also did not go swimming.

but ended up getting wet.

hehe.

oh wells

now i want to think about my new year's resolution

cause it is like 6 more days till the new year.

so fast huh

and next year i am taking my n'level.

so the first resolution is to pass my n'level and hopefully get 5 points.

ok i am getting bored of typing already.

toodles.

and MERRY X'MAS EVERYONE!!!

love,

lala

today

ok i am like so bored.

i want to go out with my friends and just be crazy for one day.

haiz.

i will die staying at home.

today we are having a small children christmas party.

cause the older people had one.

hope it will be great cause i helped to cook nasi lemak.

and i wasted alot of money on buying presents.

actually not waste.

cause i like buying presents.

i hate guys.

they just dont understand me.

i know i am being selfish for not opening my heart again

but that is who i am.

my heart is still broken and how i wish it will heal again.

it needs time to heal.

haiz.

i just need to be alone.

thanks tasha.

i just miss this crazy girl.

miss bullying her and talking craps with her.

i read your blog and it is super sweet.

i love you too tasha.

oh wells she is the best.

well i got to go.

get ready to party everyone.

cant wait till christmas and a brand new year.

i am taking my n's next year and i want to do well.

so less com time and tv time for me.

goodbye tv and com.

wait it is not 2006 yet

ok i will stop my crap.

toodles.

p/s 4 more days till chritmas.cant wait.

love,

lala*

life is shit.

here i am feeling miserable and he is out there playing pool.

haiz.

maybe he is happy going to ITE

then i should be happy and forget him and wish him all the best.

being with him for nearly a year makes it abit difficult to forget him

and it hurts just trying to forget him

i got a sore throat.

i am coughing.

i think i am getting a fever.

i dont know.

thanks nashri for caring about me.

but dont go to the extend then you cant sleep cause of me ok.

thanks haizal for messaging me every night.

sorry i cant reply.

cause my prepaid low.

thanks nazi for chatting with me last night.

all these are boys huh.

ya.

well just to let you guys know.

dont fall in love with me.

i am nothing compared to other girls.

ok.

i am sorry.

tasha boyfriend failed also.

and she cried.

she thinks its her fault.

well tasha although he is my ex.

i feel the same way.

i got to clean the house.

he is going to town now.

well hope you are happy.

love,

lala *

results.

today is the day where all the n'level get their results.
well i am super happy and proud for my sister.
this is the first time she passed all.
including her maths.
thumbs up sis.
i know you can do it.
i am super proud to be your sister
(:
abang nazlie passed
i am so glad.
shan and sandral passed.
ok congratulations.
cant wait to meet you guys next year.

ok the post sounds boring.
not really boring but sad
well i am sad
and disappointed.
abdul failed
he FAILED!
i am so sad.
heart broken to many pieces.
i cried in the car.
for the first time.
i just feel like it is my fault.
well i cant accept him back now.
i am so sad.

i cant type anymore
i am going to cry
the day is spoiled.
haiz.

toodles.
:'(

lala*

my life

ok so i am coping.

trying to forget love,

trying to be happy.

and people are helping me.

on the 14 december 05.

i was super happy.

tasha,iena,quraisah,kaiyisah was at my house.

we went swimming.

we were gossiping about people first before swimming.

ha!

we ate like pigs.

i am getting darker i think.

haha.

oh wells yesterday was sad at night.

abdul mum messaged me.

dont want to go into details.

ask me if you want to find out!

there is someone sleeping over tonight.

Yeahs!

nur farella know as ella is slepping over.

we are so going to sleep late.

ha!

cant wait.

well i this sunday am collecting 3oo bucks.

it is edusave scholorship.

i got top 10%

woohoo!

money here i come.

then next year i am collecting 150 bucks!

for EAGLES award.

i am getting rich.

hehe.

(:

ok cant brag much.

i cant wait for 27 december also.

i have auditions for next year danceworks.

i hope i get in.

i am praying to get in.

well if i am not good enough then ok.

thats all for now i think

and oh ya.

thanks haizal for trying to make me happy.

i appriciate it.

ok my hands hurt.

Toodles!

lala*

love

its been a long time since i talk about love in this blog.

well what is love to me.

love is nothing to me anymore.

i know that you have to love to be loved in return.

i dont know.

i dont hate abdul.

but he is making me hate him

i dont want to accept any boy.

i know i am just saying this.

but i am just tired.

very.

its too painful.

i wish that there is at least one guy that i can love for the rest of my life.

all things have changed since abdul came and went out of my life.

i dont know me anymore.

the aqilah that was once cheery is gone.

she just cant breathe anymore.

i just want to stick to loving my family.

i guess that is enough for me.

maybe i will just admire the guys.

admire those who are in love.

just admire.

thats all i got to say about love.

practically nothing but crap.

but i am happy that all that was out.

toodles.

lala*

This pictures are not arranged to date (:


Surprise Birthday party on 041205 at Orchid Country Club.


My lovely family after the party at the hotel.


My pressies (:


My princess ballon bought by my mum. It even has my name (:


My friends were there too.Whee!


Me cutting my most favourite cake.


My favourite cake! Thanks mummy (:


Overdue pics!



Pelyn,sis and me. We kissed after the performance.We are not les ok.


CHR modern dance 2005



Mummy,nana & lala going out to raya.Woohoo!


Our art work during the art camp 2005. Isn't it beautiful (:


The so called artists.
From left,me,syazannah,nasriah,miss sharifah,nina,hidzir,nazirul.



Thats all for now (:

birthday (:

On Sunday 4 December.

The happiest day of my life.

There was a suprise party to celebrate me turning 15.

All planned by my loving family.

Thanks alot.

Thanks to the people who were there and helped.

Thanks to my parents and siblings.

Thank you everyone.

(:

Those who cant make it or was not invited.

Your messages were more then enough to brighten up my day.

Thanks.

I got lots of presents this year.

After so long.

I think this is the best party i had.

Everyone wore pink and white.

I had a princess ballon.

I am so happy.

Yesterday was 5 December.

My birthday.

I am now a year older.

It feels great.

I went out with my family.

My mummy bought a new hp.

So cool.

We went Swensens to eat.

My daddy paid.

Then i went to topshop to buy one shirt.

Thanks to Kak linda & hubby and Kak Nadiayah.

They gave me some sort of a topshop voucher.

Then we went home.

So that is what i did for my birthday.

Exciting huh.

Oh ya.

The suprise birthday was at Orchid Country Club.

Cool place.

Thanks Kak Yanti.

She worked there.

So we even got to sleep over there.

The rooms were huge.

Ok lah.

I stop here for now.

I am 15 already.

Going to make my ic soon

(:

toodles everyone!

lala*

the dance.

we looked great.

we were beautiful.

but our peformance sucked.

maybe it was due to the lack of practices.

maybe it was just that we sucked.

anyway the nine dancers did our best.

i know that we did our best.

maybe we are just not good enough.

we shall try and make it better next time.

this is a lesson to learn.

yesterday my whole family came to see our performance.

expected more people to be there but never mind.

Nashri we will meet one day.

dont be upset.

My birthday is coming.

but there is no excitement this year.

but i am just looking foward to the dinner on next Monday.

The dinner i am haviing with my family and a few other people

that is all for now.

toodles.

lala*

dancing.

Stay at home also what can i do.

use the com maybe for awhile

then watch tv also maybe awhile.

that is the most i can do

go dance also wrong.

I know i have been MIA from home.

Due to the belumut trip and now the dance.

But seriously what can i do at home.

I dont have a bf now.

So i have nothing to do.

Nobody understands me.

Haiz.

I go back after dance, do housework also got complain meh?

Never.

Morning i will try my very best to do the chores then go out to dance.

I tired also i got complain or not?

Haiz.

Yesterday meet up late abit got scolding.

Today come back late also get scolding.

Maybe today is my fault lah.

I dont know lah.

I am tired.

Not trying to complain.

I cant even talk to anyone now.

I want to let out my feelings.

So i guess the only way is through the blog.

My whole body is aching now.

I am so glad that i am not sick.

Just the stupid migranes everyday.

Stupid migranes.

Modern dance so rocks.

I so love it.

Kenzi rocks.

Pelyn rocks.

Joan rocks.

Amelea rocks.

Natasha rocks.

Sulaztry rocks.

Diyanah rocks.

Jazli rocks.

and Miss Tan so rocks my socks.

(:

Ok.

Me now super duper tired.

Want to go bath then clean.

Toodles everyone.

Oh ya anyway i will be dancing.

On Sunday.

At Vista Park

My dance will be around 6.35

If you are free and you know me please come.

Thanks and toodles again.

lala*

hectic week

Well this whole week is crazy.

On Monday i went out together with Tasha,Hui Shan,my sis and of course myself.

We met up with the boys after that.

We had fun.

I bought this new top.

Which cost me 22.90.

My money gone.

We took neoprints.

I will update the pics later.

It was a great day that i will never forget.

Then i had an art camp.

3 days.

It was fun overall.

I just hate drawing.

Cause i am a POA student like duh.

Nazirul,Hidzir,Syazanna,Nina,Nasriah and me.

We are the six people.

All not related to art except for Nina.

Haha.

We took neoprints.

Will update all later.

We did a nice art piece.

It is just so beautiful (:

the 3 days were great.

Yesterday was my school anniversary dinner.

It was boring.

Last year was much fun.

This may be the last year i am going.

I am not going anymore.

My parents have donated enough.

I was like a shining star.

I had glitter all over.

The food was ok.

Later i am going to watch Harry Potter.

Yeahs!

Cant wait.

So i will update next time when i am free ok.

Trying to forget him anyway.

lala*

i hate boys!!

Just get out and never come back to my life.

I dont want to fall in love or communicate with boys.

It hurts!

Alot!

No one knows.

Abdul if you read this i and Yun have nothing.

I dont like him.

Whatever.

Yun if you get to read this.

Ignore me all you want.

I will ignore you too.

Abang Rahim if you can read this also.

I dont want to talk to you anymore.

Although you have said sorry.

I just have had enough of critisim.

I know i am a bitch who broke up with your best friend.

Hate me all you want.

I am just tired.

Tired.

I am trying hard to tell myself not to cry.

But everyday shit happens

Nothing has ever been a great day for me.

All i do is idiotly crying at night.

To people who do stuffs like this.

To me the question is am i crying for a good reason?

I dont know.

I DONT KNOW!

Sometimes i feel like killing myself.

So that i wont be too sad.

Today i watch chinese show.

I think about him

Do i love him?

If i do will i regret if i die without telling him?

I dont know.

Haiz.

I dont know what to say already.

My life is in a mess.

lala*