merry x'mas

hey wells so it is christmas day today.

different from last year

this year is more quiet

my cousins are out of town.

and i am like so totally bored.

kinda have a headache now

so shit.

its ok.

ella,fiq and my neighbours are here now.

havoc the house.

haha.

well they make me happy and that is good.

just now i did not went swimming.

but i went down

then all of them pulled me to the pool

kak yana also did not go swimming.

but ended up getting wet.

hehe.

oh wells

now i want to think about my new year's resolution

cause it is like 6 more days till the new year.

so fast huh

and next year i am taking my n'level.

so the first resolution is to pass my n'level and hopefully get 5 points.

ok i am getting bored of typing already.

toodles.

and MERRY X'MAS EVERYONE!!!

love,

lala

today

ok i am like so bored.

i want to go out with my friends and just be crazy for one day.

haiz.

i will die staying at home.

today we are having a small children christmas party.

cause the older people had one.

hope it will be great cause i helped to cook nasi lemak.

and i wasted alot of money on buying presents.

actually not waste.

cause i like buying presents.

i hate guys.

they just dont understand me.

i know i am being selfish for not opening my heart again

but that is who i am.

my heart is still broken and how i wish it will heal again.

it needs time to heal.

haiz.

i just need to be alone.

thanks tasha.

i just miss this crazy girl.

miss bullying her and talking craps with her.

i read your blog and it is super sweet.

i love you too tasha.

oh wells she is the best.

well i got to go.

get ready to party everyone.

cant wait till christmas and a brand new year.

i am taking my n's next year and i want to do well.

so less com time and tv time for me.

goodbye tv and com.

wait it is not 2006 yet

ok i will stop my crap.

toodles.

p/s 4 more days till chritmas.cant wait.

love,

lala*

life is shit.

here i am feeling miserable and he is out there playing pool.

haiz.

maybe he is happy going to ITE

then i should be happy and forget him and wish him all the best.

being with him for nearly a year makes it abit difficult to forget him

and it hurts just trying to forget him

i got a sore throat.

i am coughing.

i think i am getting a fever.

i dont know.

thanks nashri for caring about me.

but dont go to the extend then you cant sleep cause of me ok.

thanks haizal for messaging me every night.

sorry i cant reply.

cause my prepaid low.

thanks nazi for chatting with me last night.

all these are boys huh.

ya.

well just to let you guys know.

dont fall in love with me.

i am nothing compared to other girls.

ok.

i am sorry.

tasha boyfriend failed also.

and she cried.

she thinks its her fault.

well tasha although he is my ex.

i feel the same way.

i got to clean the house.

he is going to town now.

well hope you are happy.

love,

lala *

results.

today is the day where all the n'level get their results.
well i am super happy and proud for my sister.
this is the first time she passed all.
including her maths.
thumbs up sis.
i know you can do it.
i am super proud to be your sister
(:
abang nazlie passed
i am so glad.
shan and sandral passed.
ok congratulations.
cant wait to meet you guys next year.

ok the post sounds boring.
not really boring but sad
well i am sad
and disappointed.
abdul failed
he FAILED!
i am so sad.
heart broken to many pieces.
i cried in the car.
for the first time.
i just feel like it is my fault.
well i cant accept him back now.
i am so sad.

i cant type anymore
i am going to cry
the day is spoiled.
haiz.

toodles.
:'(

lala*

my life

ok so i am coping.

trying to forget love,

trying to be happy.

and people are helping me.

on the 14 december 05.

i was super happy.

tasha,iena,quraisah,kaiyisah was at my house.

we went swimming.

we were gossiping about people first before swimming.

ha!

we ate like pigs.

i am getting darker i think.

haha.

oh wells yesterday was sad at night.

abdul mum messaged me.

dont want to go into details.

ask me if you want to find out!

there is someone sleeping over tonight.

Yeahs!

nur farella know as ella is slepping over.

we are so going to sleep late.

ha!

cant wait.

well i this sunday am collecting 3oo bucks.

it is edusave scholorship.

i got top 10%

woohoo!

money here i come.

then next year i am collecting 150 bucks!

for EAGLES award.

i am getting rich.

hehe.

(:

ok cant brag much.

i cant wait for 27 december also.

i have auditions for next year danceworks.

i hope i get in.

i am praying to get in.

well if i am not good enough then ok.

thats all for now i think

and oh ya.

thanks haizal for trying to make me happy.

i appriciate it.

ok my hands hurt.

Toodles!

lala*

love

its been a long time since i talk about love in this blog.

well what is love to me.

love is nothing to me anymore.

i know that you have to love to be loved in return.

i dont know.

i dont hate abdul.

but he is making me hate him

i dont want to accept any boy.

i know i am just saying this.

but i am just tired.

very.

its too painful.

i wish that there is at least one guy that i can love for the rest of my life.

all things have changed since abdul came and went out of my life.

i dont know me anymore.

the aqilah that was once cheery is gone.

she just cant breathe anymore.

i just want to stick to loving my family.

i guess that is enough for me.

maybe i will just admire the guys.

admire those who are in love.

just admire.

thats all i got to say about love.

practically nothing but crap.

but i am happy that all that was out.

toodles.

lala*

This pictures are not arranged to date (:


Surprise Birthday party on 041205 at Orchid Country Club.


My lovely family after the party at the hotel.


My pressies (:


My princess ballon bought by my mum. It even has my name (:


My friends were there too.Whee!


Me cutting my most favourite cake.


My favourite cake! Thanks mummy (:


Overdue pics!



Pelyn,sis and me. We kissed after the performance.We are not les ok.


CHR modern dance 2005



Mummy,nana & lala going out to raya.Woohoo!


Our art work during the art camp 2005. Isn't it beautiful (:


The so called artists.
From left,me,syazannah,nasriah,miss sharifah,nina,hidzir,nazirul.



Thats all for now (:

birthday (:

On Sunday 4 December.

The happiest day of my life.

There was a suprise party to celebrate me turning 15.

All planned by my loving family.

Thanks alot.

Thanks to the people who were there and helped.

Thanks to my parents and siblings.

Thank you everyone.

(:

Those who cant make it or was not invited.

Your messages were more then enough to brighten up my day.

Thanks.

I got lots of presents this year.

After so long.

I think this is the best party i had.

Everyone wore pink and white.

I had a princess ballon.

I am so happy.

Yesterday was 5 December.

My birthday.

I am now a year older.

It feels great.

I went out with my family.

My mummy bought a new hp.

So cool.

We went Swensens to eat.

My daddy paid.

Then i went to topshop to buy one shirt.

Thanks to Kak linda & hubby and Kak Nadiayah.

They gave me some sort of a topshop voucher.

Then we went home.

So that is what i did for my birthday.

Exciting huh.

Oh ya.

The suprise birthday was at Orchid Country Club.

Cool place.

Thanks Kak Yanti.

She worked there.

So we even got to sleep over there.

The rooms were huge.

Ok lah.

I stop here for now.

I am 15 already.

Going to make my ic soon

(:

toodles everyone!

lala*

the dance.

we looked great.

we were beautiful.

but our peformance sucked.

maybe it was due to the lack of practices.

maybe it was just that we sucked.

anyway the nine dancers did our best.

i know that we did our best.

maybe we are just not good enough.

we shall try and make it better next time.

this is a lesson to learn.

yesterday my whole family came to see our performance.

expected more people to be there but never mind.

Nashri we will meet one day.

dont be upset.

My birthday is coming.

but there is no excitement this year.

but i am just looking foward to the dinner on next Monday.

The dinner i am haviing with my family and a few other people

that is all for now.

toodles.

lala*

dancing.

Stay at home also what can i do.

use the com maybe for awhile

then watch tv also maybe awhile.

that is the most i can do

go dance also wrong.

I know i have been MIA from home.

Due to the belumut trip and now the dance.

But seriously what can i do at home.

I dont have a bf now.

So i have nothing to do.

Nobody understands me.

Haiz.

I go back after dance, do housework also got complain meh?

Never.

Morning i will try my very best to do the chores then go out to dance.

I tired also i got complain or not?

Haiz.

Yesterday meet up late abit got scolding.

Today come back late also get scolding.

Maybe today is my fault lah.

I dont know lah.

I am tired.

Not trying to complain.

I cant even talk to anyone now.

I want to let out my feelings.

So i guess the only way is through the blog.

My whole body is aching now.

I am so glad that i am not sick.

Just the stupid migranes everyday.

Stupid migranes.

Modern dance so rocks.

I so love it.

Kenzi rocks.

Pelyn rocks.

Joan rocks.

Amelea rocks.

Natasha rocks.

Sulaztry rocks.

Diyanah rocks.

Jazli rocks.

and Miss Tan so rocks my socks.

(:

Ok.

Me now super duper tired.

Want to go bath then clean.

Toodles everyone.

Oh ya anyway i will be dancing.

On Sunday.

At Vista Park

My dance will be around 6.35

If you are free and you know me please come.

Thanks and toodles again.

lala*

hectic week

Well this whole week is crazy.

On Monday i went out together with Tasha,Hui Shan,my sis and of course myself.

We met up with the boys after that.

We had fun.

I bought this new top.

Which cost me 22.90.

My money gone.

We took neoprints.

I will update the pics later.

It was a great day that i will never forget.

Then i had an art camp.

3 days.

It was fun overall.

I just hate drawing.

Cause i am a POA student like duh.

Nazirul,Hidzir,Syazanna,Nina,Nasriah and me.

We are the six people.

All not related to art except for Nina.

Haha.

We took neoprints.

Will update all later.

We did a nice art piece.

It is just so beautiful (:

the 3 days were great.

Yesterday was my school anniversary dinner.

It was boring.

Last year was much fun.

This may be the last year i am going.

I am not going anymore.

My parents have donated enough.

I was like a shining star.

I had glitter all over.

The food was ok.

Later i am going to watch Harry Potter.

Yeahs!

Cant wait.

So i will update next time when i am free ok.

Trying to forget him anyway.

lala*

i hate boys!!

Just get out and never come back to my life.

I dont want to fall in love or communicate with boys.

It hurts!

Alot!

No one knows.

Abdul if you read this i and Yun have nothing.

I dont like him.

Whatever.

Yun if you get to read this.

Ignore me all you want.

I will ignore you too.

Abang Rahim if you can read this also.

I dont want to talk to you anymore.

Although you have said sorry.

I just have had enough of critisim.

I know i am a bitch who broke up with your best friend.

Hate me all you want.

I am just tired.

Tired.

I am trying hard to tell myself not to cry.

But everyday shit happens

Nothing has ever been a great day for me.

All i do is idiotly crying at night.

To people who do stuffs like this.

To me the question is am i crying for a good reason?

I dont know.

I DONT KNOW!

Sometimes i feel like killing myself.

So that i wont be too sad.

Today i watch chinese show.

I think about him

Do i love him?

If i do will i regret if i die without telling him?

I dont know.

Haiz.

I dont know what to say already.

My life is in a mess.

lala*

hate him

ok people listen.

We are over.

No more Abdul and Aqilah.

He has hurt me too many times.

I hate him.

I hate him :'(

My life cant get any worse than this.

I would rather die then carry on.

This is toturing.

I HATE ABDUL NUR!!

i dont want to think about you anymore.

You are out of my life forever.

We are never going to be together.

Dont bother waiting for me.

I dont want you anymore.

I just want to be ME,MYSELF AND I!!!!

go away.

Just get out.

I hate my life.

I so hate it.

Nobody knows how i feel.

lala*

broke up.

this post is for Abdul Nur.

I treasure the time we had together.

Those were my greatest memories that i will never forget.

You were my first true love.

I am sorry that this had to happen.

Well it is a decision i made.

It was difficult.

But this is the best.

Maybe not for you but for me.

Today is suppose to be our 1 year anniversary.

I am sorry that we did not go all the way.

I am sorry.

But to let you know that i still care for you.

I wont forget you.

And i wont forget all the nice things that you have done for me.

101405.

Sorry.

I hope you read this.

lala*

photos.

Mount Lambak and Mount Belumut trip!

Yun, me and dina at the summit of Mount Belumut.

Sakinah,me,dina,Lenny and Leong Kiat at the top of Mount Belumut.

Lenny,Sakinah,me and Dina at the top of Mount Lambak

Meina and Meilahat Mount Lambak


Meilah and Meiny at Mount Lambak.

The beautiful scenery at Mount Lambak.

Sakinah,me,Lenny and Dinaat hotel lobby.


Hari Raya photos so far!

Me,Farah,Isaac and Kak yana




Me,alya,kak nadiyah and Ryanat nyai house.

Kak yana,Kak Nadiyah, me and extra elephant at the back.

Me and Ryan

Kak Yana, Auntie Juliana and me

mount belumut trip

So long never update.

Just came back yesterday from Kluang.

I conquered 2 mountains.

That is mount lambak and mount belumut.

This is going to be a long entry so bear with me okies.

First day had to wake up early to be in school by 6.30.

Imagine the time i had to wake up.

Waited for the bus and i sat beside Yun.

Cause Sakinah had to sit with someone else.

Then reached the hotel around 11.

We unpacked.

Went for lunch at 12.

Then we head to Mount Lambak.

Climbed there.

Everyone made it.

We got back to the hotel around 6.

Wash up then went for dinner at around 7.

Then had our group reflection and overall reflection.

That was great.

Oh ya.

The people who stick to me.

I mean as a group.

They are Sakinah,Fardina,Lenny,Suba,Vivien,Yun and of course me.

They were great fun.

During the hike,either Leong or Yun will help me.

So the day had passed.

The second day had wake up call at 6.

Went down for breakfast at 7.

Took the bus to Mount Belumut at around 8.30.

Then went up the mount belumut.

Mount Belumut i would not want to got again.

I got bitten by leeches.

Two of them.

One on each leg.

Now the legs have scars of it.

I am the first to notice that there is a leech.

So ass.

Hate leeches.

Curse them.

They like me maybe cause i am sweet.

Those bloodsuckers.

Went up with my group.

A guy called Ian helped me and so did Siew Ming.

Then halfway going up, Dina,Lenny and Yun ended up with me.

Lenny was independent.

Dina and me helped each other.

Yun had to help Suba.

Then we make fun of them.

Muahaha.

The trip down.

Same people.

Then Leong made new mei.

Lenny and Fardina.

So now we have a new group.

Meiny+Meina+Meilah+Korkiat.

Forever and ever.

Love them loads.

Ok all except Desmond and Mr Seah conqured the mountain.

We reached the peak at around 6.30.

We all went back to the hotel then straight for dinner.

Then we all washed up and did our normal reflection.

Then we all got free time.

But i went to sleep.

Cause no mood.

The leech fault lah.

Then i and Sakinah went to bed.

Next day morning call at 8.

Went down for breakfast.

Then we had a last meeting.

We all had alot of people to praise.

Then chocolates were given out.

Then went back to the room to pack.

Then we checked out at 12.

We left Kluang for Johor.

I slept in the bus then something funny happened.

I was shocked and awaken.

Yun was shocked when i moved.

I had a bad dream.

About him

Well dont want to talk about it.

Lucky Yun was there.

We went shopping at Angsana.

The same old people was with me.

Then reached home at 7.

My darling sis fetch me.

So sweet.

Ok lah.

That is about the whole trip.

I quarrel with him.

Somehow or rather it is difficult to forgive him now.

I am so tired.

Very.

It is just that i know he will do the same thing over and over again.

Why must i make myself miserable.

Why?

I just feel like being alone and free.

No problems.

I dont know already.

I am tired of typing.

So till next time.

Toodles.

lala [meilah] *

selamat hari raya.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI MAAF ZAHIR BATIN!!!

to all the muslims out there.

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!!

to all the hidus out there (:

So ok today is the first day of hari raya.

My whole family is wearing black.

I slept at 3 this morning and woke up at 9 this morning.

Totally exhausted.

Gosh!

Tomorrow i got to go school for training.

Damn it.

Now waiting for people to come.

Dont know what time i going to sleep also.

Die!

Ok lah.

Got to go.

Guest are arriving.

Take care everyone.

Toodles.

lala*

happy halloween

Today is halloween.

I became a genie thanks to my modern dance costume.

Collected lots of sweets together with amy and tasha as well.

Alot of nice costumes around.

Maybe next year i will be princess or miss universe.

hehe (:

Tomorrow i going out with abdul so now i must clean the house.

Toddles.

Take care everyone.

And to the hindus.

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!!!

lala *

results.

my report book is back.

guess what.

i got 8th in class and in the whole normal acad.

woohoo!

lets party man.

i am like so freaking happy about my results.

top 10.

hmm ok enough about that.

i am quarreling with him.

dont know lah he.

he just cant understand me.

i am like so freaking sad.

haiz.

i dont know how long this will go on.

ok lah

gtg

will update more next time.

toodles.

lala*

sobx.

He was here.

From 7.30 to 9.30

but it felt like 5 mins.

my asshole brother made my dad come back tomorrow.

so shit.

not that i hate him.

i cant spent time with abdul.

haiz.

life is so unpredictable.

today get scolding from my mummy till like shit.

i am just trying to make cookies.

is that wrong.

everyone dont want to do it.

and one mistake and i will get one hell of a scolding.

tomorrow have IT course and training.

so stress.

i want to get school over and done with.

tomorrow also might get report book.

i am going to the school dinner anyway.

so bored.

and the house is damn messy.

so shit.

got to go.

toddles.

lala*