hate my life now.

i dont know what to do no more

day by day i would just let day passed.

what happen yesterday people may ask.

well i have lost my friends.

yesterday was a pretty good day you can say.

till i wanted to go home.

that was when it started.

i thought they waited for me.

but no.

so i was a moron trying to call them and no one picked up their phone.

so i went back with my sis.

took the taxi and cried in the taxi.

kak yana was of course angry.

and so is abang nazlie.

i am not trying to save my name or whatever.

then i was ok already

at home called nurul.

and i found out they were having a party.

A PARTY WITHOUT ME?

and to claim i and tasha's good friend.

i cried on the spot.

feeling like an idiot.

i went to dance.

walked.

and think about it.

i was so stupid.

i dont know.

i felt so lost.

i wanted someone to talked to me.

then after modern dance.

i talked to syadariena.

she cried.

i am sorry iena.

i went back home.

i called nurul.

talked to her

i cried.

she cried

sorry.

today i had a pretty bad headache in school

it feel like hell.

and tasha sent me a letter.

she said the birthday was a surprise.

so i guess it is not her fault.

i dont know.

i know i dont belong to 4/8

i belong to 4/7

i will always be the last to go out of class.

in the end no one will go back with me.

i dont know what to do already.

nisa:

you can say whatever you want to say.

i dont give a damn about you cause i know you never did liked me.

you can tell people that i was controlling tasha.

like what did i do?

and i dont like you scolding Iena.

she is soft hearted already and you think you can step all over her?

well think again.

Look at yourself.

girl you need an attitude adjustment and somebody is going to help you with that.

tasha:

i was just disappointed that i did not know about the party.

i feel that we have drifted apart.

we never talk no more.

we never go out no more.

i was not even there for your party.

i would let my mother hate me then miss your party.

at least if my presence was there awhile it would be great.

but i was not even known of that party.

well i dont know what to say.

amelea:

seriously dont know what to say about you.

Iena and Nurul:

thanks for tallking to me.

and sorry to make you guys cry.

am very sorry.

well i dont know the full storey about the party.

but from reading Kaiyisah blog.

i knew that they had fun.

that was my only wish for tasha.

and it was granted.

thanks god.

i cried lah.

yes.

as i am typing now also i am crying.

the feeling of losing a friend is never good.

this is quite a long entry and i am tired.

thanks to all the people who tried to help me.

now i will just let nature take it's course.

toodles everyone.

take care

lala*