the dance.

we looked great.

we were beautiful.

but our peformance sucked.

maybe it was due to the lack of practices.

maybe it was just that we sucked.

anyway the nine dancers did our best.

i know that we did our best.

maybe we are just not good enough.

we shall try and make it better next time.

this is a lesson to learn.

yesterday my whole family came to see our performance.

expected more people to be there but never mind.

Nashri we will meet one day.

dont be upset.

My birthday is coming.

but there is no excitement this year.

but i am just looking foward to the dinner on next Monday.

The dinner i am haviing with my family and a few other people

that is all for now.

toodles.

lala*

dancing.

Stay at home also what can i do.

use the com maybe for awhile

then watch tv also maybe awhile.

that is the most i can do

go dance also wrong.

I know i have been MIA from home.

Due to the belumut trip and now the dance.

But seriously what can i do at home.

I dont have a bf now.

So i have nothing to do.

Nobody understands me.

Haiz.

I go back after dance, do housework also got complain meh?

Never.

Morning i will try my very best to do the chores then go out to dance.

I tired also i got complain or not?

Haiz.

Yesterday meet up late abit got scolding.

Today come back late also get scolding.

Maybe today is my fault lah.

I dont know lah.

I am tired.

Not trying to complain.

I cant even talk to anyone now.

I want to let out my feelings.

So i guess the only way is through the blog.

My whole body is aching now.

I am so glad that i am not sick.

Just the stupid migranes everyday.

Stupid migranes.

Modern dance so rocks.

I so love it.

Kenzi rocks.

Pelyn rocks.

Joan rocks.

Amelea rocks.

Natasha rocks.

Sulaztry rocks.

Diyanah rocks.

Jazli rocks.

and Miss Tan so rocks my socks.

(:

Ok.

Me now super duper tired.

Want to go bath then clean.

Toodles everyone.

Oh ya anyway i will be dancing.

On Sunday.

At Vista Park

My dance will be around 6.35

If you are free and you know me please come.

Thanks and toodles again.

lala*

hectic week

Well this whole week is crazy.

On Monday i went out together with Tasha,Hui Shan,my sis and of course myself.

We met up with the boys after that.

We had fun.

I bought this new top.

Which cost me 22.90.

My money gone.

We took neoprints.

I will update the pics later.

It was a great day that i will never forget.

Then i had an art camp.

3 days.

It was fun overall.

I just hate drawing.

Cause i am a POA student like duh.

Nazirul,Hidzir,Syazanna,Nina,Nasriah and me.

We are the six people.

All not related to art except for Nina.

Haha.

We took neoprints.

Will update all later.

We did a nice art piece.

It is just so beautiful (:

the 3 days were great.

Yesterday was my school anniversary dinner.

It was boring.

Last year was much fun.

This may be the last year i am going.

I am not going anymore.

My parents have donated enough.

I was like a shining star.

I had glitter all over.

The food was ok.

Later i am going to watch Harry Potter.

Yeahs!

Cant wait.

So i will update next time when i am free ok.

Trying to forget him anyway.

lala*

i hate boys!!

Just get out and never come back to my life.

I dont want to fall in love or communicate with boys.

It hurts!

Alot!

No one knows.

Abdul if you read this i and Yun have nothing.

I dont like him.

Whatever.

Yun if you get to read this.

Ignore me all you want.

I will ignore you too.

Abang Rahim if you can read this also.

I dont want to talk to you anymore.

Although you have said sorry.

I just have had enough of critisim.

I know i am a bitch who broke up with your best friend.

Hate me all you want.

I am just tired.

Tired.

I am trying hard to tell myself not to cry.

But everyday shit happens

Nothing has ever been a great day for me.

All i do is idiotly crying at night.

To people who do stuffs like this.

To me the question is am i crying for a good reason?

I dont know.

I DONT KNOW!

Sometimes i feel like killing myself.

So that i wont be too sad.

Today i watch chinese show.

I think about him

Do i love him?

If i do will i regret if i die without telling him?

I dont know.

Haiz.

I dont know what to say already.

My life is in a mess.

lala*

hate him

ok people listen.

We are over.

No more Abdul and Aqilah.

He has hurt me too many times.

I hate him.

I hate him :'(

My life cant get any worse than this.

I would rather die then carry on.

This is toturing.

I HATE ABDUL NUR!!

i dont want to think about you anymore.

You are out of my life forever.

We are never going to be together.

Dont bother waiting for me.

I dont want you anymore.

I just want to be ME,MYSELF AND I!!!!

go away.

Just get out.

I hate my life.

I so hate it.

Nobody knows how i feel.

lala*

broke up.

this post is for Abdul Nur.

I treasure the time we had together.

Those were my greatest memories that i will never forget.

You were my first true love.

I am sorry that this had to happen.

Well it is a decision i made.

It was difficult.

But this is the best.

Maybe not for you but for me.

Today is suppose to be our 1 year anniversary.

I am sorry that we did not go all the way.

I am sorry.

But to let you know that i still care for you.

I wont forget you.

And i wont forget all the nice things that you have done for me.

101405.

Sorry.

I hope you read this.

lala*

photos.

Mount Lambak and Mount Belumut trip!

Yun, me and dina at the summit of Mount Belumut.

Sakinah,me,dina,Lenny and Leong Kiat at the top of Mount Belumut.

Lenny,Sakinah,me and Dina at the top of Mount Lambak

Meina and Meilahat Mount Lambak


Meilah and Meiny at Mount Lambak.

The beautiful scenery at Mount Lambak.

Sakinah,me,Lenny and Dinaat hotel lobby.


Hari Raya photos so far!

Me,Farah,Isaac and Kak yana




Me,alya,kak nadiyah and Ryanat nyai house.

Kak yana,Kak Nadiyah, me and extra elephant at the back.

Me and Ryan

Kak Yana, Auntie Juliana and me

mount belumut trip

So long never update.

Just came back yesterday from Kluang.

I conquered 2 mountains.

That is mount lambak and mount belumut.

This is going to be a long entry so bear with me okies.

First day had to wake up early to be in school by 6.30.

Imagine the time i had to wake up.

Waited for the bus and i sat beside Yun.

Cause Sakinah had to sit with someone else.

Then reached the hotel around 11.

We unpacked.

Went for lunch at 12.

Then we head to Mount Lambak.

Climbed there.

Everyone made it.

We got back to the hotel around 6.

Wash up then went for dinner at around 7.

Then had our group reflection and overall reflection.

That was great.

Oh ya.

The people who stick to me.

I mean as a group.

They are Sakinah,Fardina,Lenny,Suba,Vivien,Yun and of course me.

They were great fun.

During the hike,either Leong or Yun will help me.

So the day had passed.

The second day had wake up call at 6.

Went down for breakfast at 7.

Took the bus to Mount Belumut at around 8.30.

Then went up the mount belumut.

Mount Belumut i would not want to got again.

I got bitten by leeches.

Two of them.

One on each leg.

Now the legs have scars of it.

I am the first to notice that there is a leech.

So ass.

Hate leeches.

Curse them.

They like me maybe cause i am sweet.

Those bloodsuckers.

Went up with my group.

A guy called Ian helped me and so did Siew Ming.

Then halfway going up, Dina,Lenny and Yun ended up with me.

Lenny was independent.

Dina and me helped each other.

Yun had to help Suba.

Then we make fun of them.

Muahaha.

The trip down.

Same people.

Then Leong made new mei.

Lenny and Fardina.

So now we have a new group.

Meiny+Meina+Meilah+Korkiat.

Forever and ever.

Love them loads.

Ok all except Desmond and Mr Seah conqured the mountain.

We reached the peak at around 6.30.

We all went back to the hotel then straight for dinner.

Then we all washed up and did our normal reflection.

Then we all got free time.

But i went to sleep.

Cause no mood.

The leech fault lah.

Then i and Sakinah went to bed.

Next day morning call at 8.

Went down for breakfast.

Then we had a last meeting.

We all had alot of people to praise.

Then chocolates were given out.

Then went back to the room to pack.

Then we checked out at 12.

We left Kluang for Johor.

I slept in the bus then something funny happened.

I was shocked and awaken.

Yun was shocked when i moved.

I had a bad dream.

About him

Well dont want to talk about it.

Lucky Yun was there.

We went shopping at Angsana.

The same old people was with me.

Then reached home at 7.

My darling sis fetch me.

So sweet.

Ok lah.

That is about the whole trip.

I quarrel with him.

Somehow or rather it is difficult to forgive him now.

I am so tired.

Very.

It is just that i know he will do the same thing over and over again.

Why must i make myself miserable.

Why?

I just feel like being alone and free.

No problems.

I dont know already.

I am tired of typing.

So till next time.

Toodles.

lala [meilah] *

selamat hari raya.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI MAAF ZAHIR BATIN!!!

to all the muslims out there.

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!!

to all the hidus out there (:

So ok today is the first day of hari raya.

My whole family is wearing black.

I slept at 3 this morning and woke up at 9 this morning.

Totally exhausted.

Gosh!

Tomorrow i got to go school for training.

Damn it.

Now waiting for people to come.

Dont know what time i going to sleep also.

Die!

Ok lah.

Got to go.

Guest are arriving.

Take care everyone.

Toodles.

lala*

happy halloween

Today is halloween.

I became a genie thanks to my modern dance costume.

Collected lots of sweets together with amy and tasha as well.

Alot of nice costumes around.

Maybe next year i will be princess or miss universe.

hehe (:

Tomorrow i going out with abdul so now i must clean the house.

Toddles.

Take care everyone.

And to the hindus.

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!!!

lala *

results.

my report book is back.

guess what.

i got 8th in class and in the whole normal acad.

woohoo!

lets party man.

i am like so freaking happy about my results.

top 10.

hmm ok enough about that.

i am quarreling with him.

dont know lah he.

he just cant understand me.

i am like so freaking sad.

haiz.

i dont know how long this will go on.

ok lah

gtg

will update more next time.

toodles.

lala*

sobx.

He was here.

From 7.30 to 9.30

but it felt like 5 mins.

my asshole brother made my dad come back tomorrow.

so shit.

not that i hate him.

i cant spent time with abdul.

haiz.

life is so unpredictable.

today get scolding from my mummy till like shit.

i am just trying to make cookies.

is that wrong.

everyone dont want to do it.

and one mistake and i will get one hell of a scolding.

tomorrow have IT course and training.

so stress.

i want to get school over and done with.

tomorrow also might get report book.

i am going to the school dinner anyway.

so bored.

and the house is damn messy.

so shit.

got to go.

toddles.

lala*

update

so hari raya is coming.

not very excited this year.

again.

this year is like so fast hari raya already.

so boring.

today just started to make cookies.

make cornflakes and chocolate chip.

then will be making two type of chocolate thingy.

then another round of chocolate chip.

then it is done.

the rest will be buying at malaysia.

tomorrow i will go school.

today i never.

tomorrow i got course.

and then got training.

so tiring.

wednesday go school for i also dont know.

then after school go malaysia take the hari raya clothes.

thursaday go school.

after school got course.

i will go out with abdul either thursday or friday.

someone seriously have a big problem with me.

dont want to name that person.

but that person despise me alot.

have i changed?

this is a question to everyone and that particular person.

if have anything to say tell me.

if not just dont say anyhow.

this is crap man.

frustrated?

yes i am very.

got to go clean up the damn house.

if not my sis say i will not do anything.

i very lazy.

blah, blah, blah.

toddles everyone.

lala *

english results.

I am so sad.

Just when all my results are passing,

i had to fail my damn english.

not really overall.

paper 2.

but this is so sad.

Haiz.

I am sick again.

I haven recover.

So i am not in school yet.

I miss my friends alot.

I want to go to school tomorrow.

lala*

results!

Ok i am sick.

Very sick.

Cannot sleep the whole of last night.

Just thinking about him is making it worse.

He hardly sleep a wink last night.

You dont want to know the reason why.

I am just so worried about him.

I am not angry with him.

I dont want to for no reason.

Haiz.

I dont know what to say.

:(

Today i did not go school.

But my darling friends tell me my marks.

It is as followed.

Principal of accounts - 75/100

Geography - 36/50

Social Studies - 25/50

Malay - 78/100

Physics - 32.5/50

Chemistry - 39.5/50

Maths - 50/100

English - unknown.

You can say i did well.

But i dont think i did.

I just pass my maths and social studies.

Haiz.

Well for the rest maybe i am getting the hang of it.

Just waiting for my english results.

Tired now.

Want to rest.

Toodles.

lala *

happy 8th birthday.

God has blessed us with a boy named Isaac Oreth.

Born on the 8th October 1997.

Today he celebrates his 8th birthday.

Well from a sister to this brother.

I just want to wish you all the best in life.

And i will always love you although you are an irritating pest.

Muacks!

11th month anniversary/

this is so called my saddest day.

11th month anniversary.

and i am not with him.

haiz.

he said that if he blames me also what is the use.

so i guess i am to be blamed.

i am the girl that everyone hates.

my chest hurts.

i am sick.

no one hears my sorrow.

i am sorry.

that is all i can say.

i know it is always my fault.

what you said made me cry and has hurt me deeply.

but i know it is my fault.

sorry.

now i am stupidly thinking of stupid things.

this is so shit.

shit.

i just want to cry.

tralalala

Ok exams are finally O-V-E-R!!!

So glad that it is over.

Been stressed until cannot stress already.

Today the final paper was Principal Of Accounts.

Ok how was it? It was quite ok.

Not very easy paper.

Abdul is sick

I am sorry.

I have been a jerk lately.

Causing my examinations period to affect you.

Am sorry that i could not visit you today.

I feel so bad.

Sorry.

Well take care.

I love you alot.

I dont like to see you sick.

Today is going to be the 8th day of the fasting month.

Many things happen.

Mastura: Dont be too sad girl. Your guy will get well. God will always be with him Cheer up (:

Abdul: Please take care. I love you alot.

Ok to the rest. Just take care.

Be dengue free.

Muacks.

Toodles.

Enjoy the bulan ramadhan to all the muslims.

lala *

End of year exams.

Ok so fasting month is here. Good news. Then my exams are almost over. Two more days till all my misery is done. Have not been myself lately cause of the pressure i am in. Tomorrow is physics. My worst nightmare. Today was maths and i nearly cried. Cause i did not know alot of things and i did alot of stupid mistakes. This is so depressing. I just hope that i dont do so bad. I cant afford to. My dad has so much confidence in me. I dont want to let him and my mummy down again after my common test.

Ok so fasting month. Today is the 6th day already. I have like about 24 more days to go till hari raya. Woohoo... But i miss Abdul alot. Cause we cant touch each other during fasting month. It is a sin. Dont really know why it is a sin. But i will just follow it for now and find the answer another time. I am damn tired now. But i have to go study for my physics. Toodles everyone. Wish me all the best and may god bless me for tomorrow.



lala *

back

Well ok been a very long time since i update. Well life has been stressful due to examinations. Today is the first day of the major paper. Geography and social studies one day. Head now going haywire. Here is my exam schedule:

30th November - English and Malay paper 1.
5th October - Geography and Social Studies.
6th October - English and Malay paper 2.
7th October - Science(Chemistry) .
10th October - Mathematics paper 1 & 2 .
11th October - Science(Physics) .
12th October - Principle of Accounts 1 & 2 .

Well this is going to be crazy. I want to pass all. ALL!!!! I dont want to do badly. I am so stressed up. I have a headache and my stupid bro is like crying cause never go library. So shit. Haiz.I miss him alot. Alot that i want to hug and kiss him and lala with him. I miss him :'(

Anyway got to go now. Have to study for my chem and physics. Bye everyone.


lala *